Is That A Scarf Or Cat Hair?

I got up today, had some whole wheat toast and started cleaning. My second vice is TRYING TO DO THINGS OUTSIDE THE HOUSE WHEN MY KITCHEN FLOOR LOOKS LIKE THAT. I am not sure how many times I've washed my kitchen in the last six months, but it's probable I could count them on one hand. It's not only my kitchen. My whole house has suffered since Britain's been born. I can't even say I don't have the time because, but for 3 months during the summer, I only work part time. There is really no excuse for a pile of cat hair higher than the cats themselves. I think I've just gotten lazy about a lot of things, housework being only one of them.

You Can't Change Anyone But Yourself

I thought I start out my vice challenge with a family member. Although it's not one of the biggest vices on my list, it's still damaging and quite stressful at times. So vice number 1: ENABLING A CERTAIN FAMILY MEMBER AND HER ISSUES. This family member is famous for calling you up, complaining that so and so didn't take her grocery shopping and she has no food to eat. Then when you turn around and offer to take her either food or to get food, she'll act like that's the last thing in the world she needs. "No, no. I can't ask you to do that. You would have to take the baby out. You need to be to work. Enter another excuse here." So I play in to it, almost every time. I argue with her why it wouldn't be any trouble. I tell her I wouldn't have offered if I didn't want to do it. I let her tell me no about a dozen times until finally she says yes.

This is tiresome. This is old. I refuse to put up such a silly fight anymore.

Another issue she has is gossip monger. She'll tell me anything and everything about my family members just so she can pull some dirt out of me about other family members. Well, I'm not biting. Not only am I great at keeping secrets, but she's the last person I would tell anything secretive to. She'll get on the phone as soon as I leave and tell Gertie, Mildred, Evelyn and LuAnne every detail I've said, including elaborations. And of course, she's famous for saying, "and that person you are upset with? Well, that's between you and me."

And connected with that last issue, one final issue that I am more than exhausted about: said family member will start fights and cause drama just for kicks. She will let me know exactly what another family member said about me, especially if it's negative.

But because she elaborates, because she treats us like her own personal lab rats, and because I am too old and smart to be playing into all of this, I am done. Starting today and hopefully the rest of my life, I am done. I realize this is her issue, not mine. And I refuse to enable anymore.

Ahh, that felt pretty good.

Hi My Name Is Tammy...

Alright. Today is it...my last day of freedom. I changed my 30 Vices In 30 Days starting date to tomorrow. A) because today I have been writing 30 Posts For 30 days, so that's over and B) because exactly 31 days from tomorrow is my birthday and I'm not being punished on my birthday. I know, it's not really punishment to give up things that are unhealthy for you. It will ulitimately make me stronger, wiser and probably richer.

Maybe one of the scariest things is that I have changed the original rules. I am going to stop doing 30 things starting tomorrow instead of just adding a new one every day. Some of these things are going to be really REALLY hard, but I know I can do it (or stop doing it...whatev).

After the 30 days are up, I hope I don't return to all my old ways but I realize it will be hard to change everything all at once, forever. As long as I'm conciously working on the things that harm me (whether emotionally or physically) I'll be fine.

The first step is admitting you shouldn't be eating 10 Peeps in 1 morning.

Stupid Second Shift

If Matt were here, my couch wouldn't be nearly that huge.

If Matt were here, I would have had help in picking out his deodorant. Gel or solid? Glacier Freeze or Aqua Blast? And he probably would have paid for everything instead of me forking over $85, and all I went in there for, besides deodorant, was toothpaste and allergy medicine.

If Matt were here, I wouldn't have had to get the groceries out of the car in the crazy April snowstorm because he usually has every bag in before I can even get Britain's coat off.

If Matt were here, I could text someone on HIS phone since my phone is all cracked to hell to the point where I don't even know who called me.

If Matt were here, we would have watched Clive Barker's The Plague together because we are the only ones we know who like those cheesy Sci Fi "Atomic Twister" type movies...so much that we put ATOMIC in front of any Sci Fi movie. Try it. Atomic Ants. Atomic Radar Men From The Moon. Atomic Attack Of The Giant Leeches. See.

If Matt were here, I'd have someone to make a sundae for.

If Matt were here, I'd be in my pajamas by now all sleepy and cuddled and wrapped in his arms because he doesn't like all these lights on and prefers to watch sport highlights which bores me yet comforts me at the same time.

If Matt were here, I wouldn't have to get my own ibuprofen and water.

If Matt were here, he'd make me laugh and not because his joke was necessarily funny, but because he tried to make a funny joke.

And by Matt, I mean the guy I'm going to spend the rest of my life with because I've never felt anything like I feel when he's around.

Was She Wearing Clean Underwear?

Since it's Friday the 13th and all, I thought I'd write a little bit about my morbidity. No matter if I'm going down the basement steps to do laundry or driving on the highway or eating really dry chicken, I always question if this is how I'm going to die. How would they find me? Would Britain be in a safe place until they found me? Would Matt cry? What would the paramedics think of my hairy legs?

I guess you could say I've been near death before. I've been in too many car accidents to count. I used to do really stupid things growing up. There was a super high, super long bridge by my house and I would cross underneath it by walking on only a thin, metal scaffolding. I would do this on a weekly basis for thrills. We used to sled ride in the woods, at night, dodging trees when we'd get to them. Some guy in a truck chased me down my deserted road one night until I dove into a bunch of weeds and hid out. So, yeah. I could have died. We all could have if we really think about it.

But for some reason, I'm ALWAYS thinking of ways I could bite it. Perhaps my car would start swerving uncontrollably on black ice and I'd hit the guardrail. I'd walk out to my car after the mall closed and some guy would rob and shoot me, not knowing all I have in my purse is an Eat N Park gift card for 10 smiley bucks and some Chuck E. Cheese coupons. My car breaks down on the highway and some idiot plows into me with their car when I get out for help.

Sometimes I just think of ways I could injure myself. I'd be stuck in a wheelchair after breaking my back. I'd trip on the way into the house and really screw up my face and jaw on the cement steps. I'd step on a knife while hunting for Easter eggs in a crime scene. One of the electric heaters we have in our house catches fire and burns 55% of my body.

You know, the normal stuff people think about.

Gandolph The Gray

So apparently there is a product I've been waiting awhile for now. I'm not talking about Gal Pal, although that's probably just as useful and helpful. I'm talking about OOPS, the hair color remover for when Autumn Sunrise comes out looking like Fire Breathing Dragon. They say you can use this stuff after you've screwed up your hair and color again the SAME DAY! One time, in 10th grade, I came to school with gray hair because I thought "ash blonde" was going to be just a dark blond on my already really light blonde hair. I looked like Minnie Pearl. After freaking out, I called the Clairol Color Experts and they told me I had to wait two to three days before I could dye it again. I was mortified like any other 16 year old would be. What a shitty rule! Come to think of it though, the best color I ever came out with was because I colored twice in one day: a semi-permanent red and then a light blonde to brighten it up. And my hair was just fine, so I don't usually follow the "never color twice in one day" rule if it's really bad.

As Cold As Vice

Alright. That's it! I've had it with this Easter vacation, too much time on my hands thing. I am going to be making quite a few changes in my next batch of "30 in 30". I am going to take 30 of my biggest vices and stop doing them! Starting April 17, I will be listing each vice, one by one, every day and explaining why they are a vice and what I'm going to do to change. That way, by the end of 30 days, I will be doing 30 less things that are harmful or idiotic to myself! I'm tired of most of them and some of them are just too horrible for me or my body and I shouldn't be doing them anyway. I listed 30 today right off the top of my head but I was wondering if I could get some feedback from you. Anonymous is fine if you like but please no name calling.

What do I do that I should really stop doing?

You've Lost .2 Pounds

This may sound sexist, but I think women always have weight on their minds. You don't see a scale in the MEN'S WalMart bathroom. (I think it may even tell our future for an additional quarter.) And you don't see many guys asking if "this makes me look fat". If anything, guys are concerned they aren't big enough and buy that crazy weight gain powder. It's so strange. It's genetic.


I have a scale in my bathroom. It stores my info and tracks my weight loss (or currently, my weight gain). I probably get on it two or three times a day. I strip and weigh myself. I pee and weigh myself. I casually lean forward or backwards thinking the pounds will just disappear. The worst part about the scale is that it even has ounces. It can drive a woman crazy.


Then there are all those weird things you hear about weight loss that all seem to contradict themselves.
*Don't eat past 8 pm
*Eat a low fat snack right before bed
*Eat a big breakfast everyday
*Don't eat one big meal...eat 6 small meals throughout the day
*Drink 8 glasses of water
*Stay away from too much water. It bloats you.

I think the shittiest part about me and my body is that I weigh a lot more than you would think. I'm solid. And about 5 years ago, before I started eating better, I used to be 30 pounds heavier. But, now when I lose a few pounds, it's never where I'd really like to lose it. It's hard to lose Man Back. So the scale is really just bullshit.

"Take your shoes off, Brit. They always add a few ounces."

I say all this and eat alright but I don't exercise for shit, so as Anonymous would say, all we Erieites do is complain. Although I did buy a jogging stroller at the end of summer last year and I intend to use it...just as soon as it hits 40 degrees. So, late May.

Why Stuffed Bunnies Are Kinda Freaky

HAPPY EASTER!

Christmas Easter

What the hell was I thinking when I said yes to my father this morning? He called me up at 10 am when the temperature was a balmy 26 degrees outside (not even taking the wind into account) and asked me if I wanted to take Britain to an Easter egg hunt at Frontier park around 11:30. I look down at my sweatpants and sweatshirt and agreed to meet him there.

I dressed Brit up in the warmest outfit she had and even put gloves on her. I myself put on something half presentable (if you know me, you know I would NEVER walk out of the house with sweatpants on) and grabbed the camera. We trekked over right on time and waited in the freezing cold, the snow numbing our toes, just to collect some tiny plastic eggs. In all seriousness, it was really fun, Brit (ok, I) collected 43 eggs and inside 15 of them was a certificate for a free Dilly Bar from Dairy Queen. SWEET, literally! She was a complete sport about the whole thing and even yelled at Matt when he tried to put her in the car afterwards. "Dare! Dare!", she yelled pointing back to the park. And of course, she ended up on the news. (She knows some people.)

My parents, Britain, Matt and I finished the morning off with hot chocolate and homemade cookies at Romolo's across the street, which was absolutely FILLED with people coming in and out, buying chocolate bunnies and other goodies. While sipping my chai, I grabbed the paper for Matt and what was on the cover but an article on Global Warming. How fitting.