I thought I start out my vice challenge with a family member. Although it's not one of the biggest vices on my list, it's still damaging and quite stressful at times. So vice number 1: ENABLING A CERTAIN FAMILY MEMBER AND HER ISSUES. This family member is famous for calling you up, complaining that so and so didn't take her grocery shopping and she has no food to eat. Then when you turn around and offer to take her either food or to get food, she'll act like that's the last thing in the world she needs. "No, no. I can't ask you to do that. You would have to take the baby out. You need to be to work. Enter another excuse here." So I play in to it, almost every time. I argue with her why it wouldn't be any trouble. I tell her I wouldn't have offered if I didn't want to do it. I let her tell me no about a dozen times until finally she says yes.
This is tiresome. This is old. I refuse to put up such a silly fight anymore.
Another issue she has is gossip monger. She'll tell me anything and everything about my family members just so she can pull some dirt out of me about other family members. Well, I'm not biting. Not only am I great at keeping secrets, but she's the last person I would tell anything secretive to. She'll get on the phone as soon as I leave and tell Gertie, Mildred, Evelyn and LuAnne every detail I've said, including elaborations. And of course, she's famous for saying, "and that person you are upset with? Well, that's between you and me."
And connected with that last issue, one final issue that I am more than exhausted about: said family member will start fights and cause drama just for kicks. She will let me know exactly what another family member said about me, especially if it's negative.
But because she elaborates, because she treats us like her own personal lab rats, and because I am too old and smart to be playing into all of this, I am done. Starting today and hopefully the rest of my life, I am done. I realize this is her issue, not mine. And I refuse to enable anymore.
Ahh, that felt pretty good.
6 comments:
I think I know who you're talking about, and I know it'll be tough. Don't be afraid to bitch to me about it if it becomes a hassle, even if you just need to tell someone who understands just to get it off your mind.
Thanks! I just figure she's not going to change. It's been this long. I guess I could either ignore it or let it bother me and I prefer to ignore.
geesh! i didn't know britain was like that!
nar, I know who this is. Just let her talk to Scott Cook on AIR!
Geez, doesn't every family have one of these? I can't stand that...
...and who was it you're not going to enable? This is between you and me. ;)
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