I Hope You All Get A Piece

Happy Halloween! We always go to Mason Farms around Halloween every year. This is the place I worked at as a tour guide before I became a nanny. We had a good time and she never let that pumpkin go...even when she threw a temper tantrum in the store while we were in line to pay.

She was really into character here at my Grandma's. Her apartment complex holds a Trail Of Treats. Look at that "you can't be in our squad" perfection!I don't think she's ever even had a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, but if she's given a choice of candy, she'll always pick out that. Maybe she likes orange?

Matt and I went to Zoo Boo last week with Britain, my grandma and his parents. She wore the same costume she wore last year because she finally grew into it and because I'm cheap. I also don't know how to sew a new one. GET OFF MY BACK! Brit and my grandma.

Britain and "Mimi", Matt's mom as if you couldn't tell.

Well, have a nice night. It should be gorgeous if you live in the tri-state area. And remember, if you get older trick-or-treaters at your doorstep, give them a little candy...because they probably have eggs in the car if you don't.

Get Your Own!

If you like chocolate covered cherries, you won't be able to stop eating Hershey Kisses Chocolate Covered Cherry Cordials. OH MY! These are the kind of candies you buy, pretending you'll hand them out for Halloween and instead hide them in the back of the refrigerator until Nov. 1, while sneaking a few every night until then, of course. THESE ARE SO DELICIOUS! They have this nice surprise in the middle: truffle like, not Gusher like. They dry your tears and settle your arguments and you barely realize you're with that ass ugly guy who wouldn't change a diaper if he was wearing it himself.

The One Who Used To Beat Me Up

My brother, Stephen, has a blog now. Just thought I'd mention it so you can check it out. It should be some good material.

How I GAINED Ten Pounds In Two Months

So, I remember when I was a tween and played outside all the time. I rode my bike 2 miles everyday to see my best friend. I swam and hiked and played Ninja Turtles. I was an active chick.

Fast forward 18 years and here I am, sitting at the computer writing about how much time I sit on my ass watching television. Here goes:

Four Favorite TV Shows

The Wonder Years

If you're a loyal IWIWC reader, then I don't have to remind you of my unhealthy crush on Fred Savage. Some things you just don't grow out of feeling. So, it isn't surprising that I DVR this show every weeknight. (ION, 10 and 1030) If you watched it as a kid, it will take you back.

LOST

I realize this is cliche', but I'm sorry. LOST is one of the best television shows on right now...ok, it's not on right now. It won't be on for a few months, and it's killing me.

Journeyman

Until LOST comes back, this show will definitely do! When the first episode aired, I was all by myself in the living room and the only words I spoke were at the end. Said in a breathy, teary tone: "That's awesome." Enough said.

Freaks And Geeks

This show was short lived. Like Undeclared, this show had a lot to do with Judd Apatow. Before Anchorman, 40 Year Old Virgin and Knocked Up, Judd had some really great projects that barely got noticed because he hadn't made it huge yet. The greatest thing about him is that he is really dedicated to his work, young and old. The Freaks and Geeks box set is covered in Judd. It could have been even more beautiful if people actually watched it when it aired.

Which brings me to the next category. I don't get out to the theater much to watch movies. The last movie I saw was Superbad (SO good!) and the movie before that was Ladybugs. No, seriously. I see movies. Granted, they are mostly while working so I have an excuse that I saw Hayden Panettiere in Racing Stripes. But I don't exactly see all the movies I want, especially in the theater. So thanks to cable, namely TBS, I can watch my favorites again and again.

Films I Could Watch Over And Over

The Dangerous Lives Of Alter Boys

A) Kieran Culkin
B) Jena Malone
C) Emile Hirsch
There are so many great scenes in this movie. I can't believe this was an independent. I mean, I can because it's brilliant. Didn't get the publicity it deserved. "Father Casey: Jesus H Christ!
Tim: What does the H stand for Father?"

The Sweet Hereafter

This movie really surprised me. I think this happens a lot with me. If I come into it thinking it's going to suck and it really REALLY doesn't, then it makes more of an impression on me than say, A Beautiful Life, which I knew would be amazing. The Sweet Hereafter is also a novel, but I haven't read it. This movie has so much beauty and sadness and betrayal all wrapped up in a tiny little ball of artsy. And it has the scariest fucking school bus accident I've yet to see. I usually wait awhile in between viewings, but I can watch it again and again. "I've done everything the loving father of a drug addict is supposed to do. I've sent her to the best hospitals; she's seen all the best doctors. It doesn't matter. Two weeks later she's on the street. New York, Vancouver, Pittsburgh, Toronto, L.A. The next time I hear from her, it's a phone call scamming for money. Money for school, or money for a new kind of therapist, or money for a plane ticket home. 'Oh Daddy, just let me come home...Please, Daddy, I have to see you...' But she never comes home. I'm always at the airport, but she's never there. Ten years of this, ten years of these lies, of imagining what happens if I don't send the money, of kicking down doors and dragging her out of rat-infested apartments, of explaining why that couldn't be my daughter in a porn flick someone saw...well, enough rage and helplessness, and your love turns to something else...it turns to steaming piss."

Vice Versa

You obviously know the main reason. But there are other reasons too: Judge Reinhold, the silliness, the fact that I watched it when it first came out, on a VHS player that loaded from the top. "You too, Tuna Breath!"

IT

I love to be scared. I love horror movies. I have a huge fear of clowns. Although this is a cheesy version of the book by Stephen King, it is still something I could watch over and over. There are personal reasons too. My friends and I all saw the original airing over 3 or 4 nights. We had all read the book prior and thought our opinions mattered more because of it. We'd have a meeting in study hall to discuss our likes and dislikes and make fun of John Boy and his mole. "You seen a fat kid run on by here? Big fat kid, all messed up."

Igby Goes Down

I'm sorry, but I could not leave this one out. This is by far my most favorite movie, which probably explains a lot. "Our father would be a 'slippery when schizophrenic' sign, for instance..."

Well, consider me done with this strain of Memes! On to thank you cards I have yet to complete.

An Apron And Nothing Else

I didn't really start cooking until after I met Matt. I think the main reason was that I was scared I couldn't do it. I'm not saying my meals were perfection right out of the gate, but I did figure out I wasn't half as bad as I thought after only a few tries. Cooking for me is not enjoyable every day. I think it's tedious, boring and ridiculous that I don't have a prep cook. I'm happier making dinner 5 out of 7 nights a week or less. But I have come to appreciate the art of food more. And I love to try different takes on a recipe to suit to my own taste. One thing you could complain about my cooking is that it is usually bland, in that I don't use a lot of butter or other fatty ingredients. But I am embracing cooked onions, Italian dressing (low fat) and soy sauce for different flavors. I do feel bad for Matt sometimes, but overall at least we aren't eating out the way we used to.

Four Of My Favorite Foods

Salad

I think a great salad can be breakfast, lunch or dinner. Sometimes, a salad can fill me up through the entire next meal. I love vegetable in general, but when they are all hanging out on a bed of romaine, it's even more delicious. In restaurants, they seem to have only low fat or full fat dressing, so normally I go for a naked salad. One of the best additives I put in my salad are sunflower seeds or pine nuts. I could eat salad everyday as long as I had some variety for ingredients.

Bread

I love all types of bread. In fact, I can't think of a bread that I don't like. If I had to give up bread or Diet Coke, the Coke would have to go. I have been known to eat plain bread if someone was serving something I didn't like. When I was little, I had an addiction to plain bread and I was told not to eat it anymore that day. Of course, this was impossible for me and I was whacked on the ass for it later. The best part of my sub is the bread. I've taken home the free rolls they give you on your table. I would rather eat pizza crust that the slice itself. And Dr. Atkins can kiss my plain white ass.

Chicken

I love chicken because it's easy to cook, it's not red meat, and it goes well with so many dishes. It's pretty likely that I can tell you who has good chicken and who doesn't, whether in a restaurant or grocery store. When Giant Eagle has a BOGO free sale on boneless chicken breast, I usually come out of there with 8 to 10 packages. Sometimes I go back later in the week before the sale is over. About 80% of my dishes have chicken in them, so again I feel bad for Matt since he is a steak kind of guy.

Pasta

Like chicken, it goes with so many things. You can bake it, boil it, refry it, smother it, under cook it and eat it cold. You can't go wrong with pasta. Personally, I hate my noodles broken and the sound it makes when it's curling around your fork (like the sound they make when zombies are eating brains in horror movies), but there are really no other drawbacks to pasta. I do have a problem with serving size with this food, but with whole wheat it's not so bad.

Chocolate

Since pasta and bread are basically the same thing, I thought I'd add a fifth food that could not be left out of my favorites. I think chocolate is equally from heaven and hell. If you gave me a bug covered in chocolate, I would eat it. Actually, what could you possibly add chocolate to and make worse? I rest my case.

When I Grow Up

Alright. I can't help it, but some of the fill ins just don't really apply to me or I've already talked about them. My four favorite colors, I feel, was already covered with the explanation of pink so I decided to make up a new one (again).

Four Other Professions I Could Have Worked In

I'm not one for regrets, but if I was to have gone to college straight out of high school, I think I could have majored in a few different areas.

Child Psychology

I've always found Psychology interesting. The way human beings, on a whole, act or feel or fuck up always amazed me. It seems like my friends are always coming to me with their problems. I don't think I give them advice more than I let them talk out their issue with something until they can wrap their head around it. And I can keep a lot of secrets. But as far as being a psychologist, there are too many crazy people in this world, so I would incorporate my love for children into this profession and just focus on helping kids. The drawback to this job would probably be the really crazy children that I couldn't help, no matter how hard I tried. And the fact that they may find out where I live.

School Nurse

I'm pretty good at knowing when the girls are faking their illnesses, so I'd be great at this. Plus, my school nurse was awesome. She always made you feel great and let you sleep through social studies, but let you go back for lunch. Obviously we know what drawback this job carries...VOMIT.

Singer/Songwriter

I'm not the best voice out there, but I think with a little training, I could have really made money with my singing voice. And I like to make up poems and short little jingles. I could see myself in another life like a John Mayer, as in I'd dress up as a random mascot and fool my fans in the parking lot. I think the one huge drawback would be fame. I've puked in too many garbage cans on State St. and would prefer not to see that in US magazine. Plus, I'm a bit chunky and they'd call out my chub and rumor me to be constantly 3 months pregnant.
Voice Over

I am a pretty good mimic when it comes to sound and I can do a damn good kid's voice so I think I would have been great in commercials or providing voices for cartoon characters. And it wouldn't be that tight throat thing some actors do that drives me up a wall. (Jimmy Neutron, I'm talking to you.) The biggest drawback to this job would be how many takes I would have to go through just to say "corduroy" or "Cellular One".

Namely

Four Names I Love But Could Never Name My Child:


Paul

Rain

Mariah

Autumn

.

Hypocrite

Rachel has tagged me for a MEME, so I am trying to continue it every day until I'm done. One of them (Four Websites I Frequently Visit) I'd like to make up myself since I don't really frequent that many websites, and coming up with four websites I visit would be a little tricky. So here is mine:

Four Things I Said/Thought I'd Never Do, But Did Them Anyway

If any of you know me, then you know I am pretty stubborn. And I have done some weird and wild things and stuck to them just for the simple fact that I am that stubborn. I didn't swear for a whole year in high school just because swearing had become the thing to do. If you've read this website before, you realize just how fucking hard that was for me. I didn't go out clubbing until I was well into my twenties because that was what you were supposed to do when you turned 21. Although I love to dance and usually prefer to do that very thing whenever I go out now. But there are four major things that happened in my life that even my stubbornness couldn't control.

I Said I'd Never Drive

I've had a fear of driving almost all my teenage years as well as the first few years of my 20's. I was the typical backseat driver. I'd grip your dashboard and "Oh shit" handle so tight, there would be fingerprints. My heart would race. I'd be twitching and looking around every corner thinking every other car on the road was going to hit me. Don't get me wrong. I was concerned for YOUR safety too. "Watch out for that car!" Hell, sometimes I'd just shut my eyes until the ride was over. Because, I hated driving...Rephrase that, I hated passengering. And if you ever rode with me during those years, you probably still remember, scarred for life. You see, I've been in too many car accidents to count and many of them were before I even got behind the wheel. I seriously vowed never to get a license. But the time came in my job where I had to drive or find another place of employment. Payton needed to go to preschool and it was much too far to walk a 3 year old in 2 feet of snow. So at 21, I had my best friend Jeannette teach me to drive. It was then I had a revelation. I found it was so much better than sitting in the passenger seat without any control. I could slam on the breaks when I wanted. I could go the speed limit, or not. I could look at every intersection before going through. I felt so much safer knowing I could stop the car or speed up whenever I needed. It also helped that Jeannette was so patient and didn't really care what happened to her 10 year old car. I took the test and passed the first time. In all honesty, I believe I am a better driver because of my once apprehensive attitude. So much so that now I'm working on my road rage because I think I drive better than most. Yes, even you.

I Thought I'd Never Wear Pink

As long as I can remember, I've always loved blue...And I've always hated pink. Pink was everything I associated with frilly and girly and ditsy. You were obviously a giggling little moron if you wore pink. You had no athletic ability. You had perfect nails and a perfect blush application. And your knees never met with a tree branch. You needed a man to help you over a puddle or open a car door for you. If you wore pink, you had a boyfriend named Blaine and made your own dresses. Plus, being the only Ames girl, I was forced to wear pink at every holiday and special occasion. And then just earlier last year, I realized how nice a blond haired, fair skinned woman can look in light pink. Slowly, I started adding a bit to my wardrobe. I wouldn't say I wear pink everyday and I do still prefer blue. But I AM now known to rock pink every so often, while climbing a tree of course.

I Said I Would Never Buy A House

My parents moved us around a lot. I think I've lived in close to 20 different households. I just got to liking the carefree feeling of being able to pack up and make a new house a home. I would get antsy after about 2 years. But, when Matt and I started looking with a realtor, I think I was a little freaked out at first. It's not as if you HAVE to stay in a house you purchase, but it certainly is a bit more involved than breaking a lease. Although, it didn't take long to really enjoy the thought of living in one place for years. It always amazed me to go over to some one's house and see their baby footprints in the sidewalk or their growth charts in the closet. And I find I want that for Britain. I can't say I haven't been on Howard Hanna checking out houses online, but I think everyone does that. It's not as if we bought this house and intended on staying here for life. But we do have some home improvement plans next year to make it our own for at least a few more years.

I Thought I'd Never Get Pregnant

I'm sure you all know Britain was a surprise, but no one was surprised more than I was. I have always had problems in the womanly cycle department. I could never gauge when I would need a Tampax let alone when my own ovulation would occur. Even so, I tried to have a baby for over a year in my last relationship and never even got close to conceiving. Finally, I went to the doctor and I was diagnosed with PCOS. Heartbroken, I slowly but surely got used to the fact that fate stepped in when I became a nanny because I probably wouldn't ever have any children of my own. Then, as soon as I met Matt, one of the strangest things that has ever happened to me happened. My body was the most regular it had ever been. You could have possibly even set a calendar by me. Although, I still believed it was just a strange way of my body finally releasing all those underdeveloped eggs and Matt and I weren't always careful for that simple fact. When I read that positive pregnancy test, after tens of negative pregnancy tests before it, I knew my own little miracle had occurred. Now, here she is!

This, among some other important events, is why I will always believe in fate and karma. All of these things that I said I would never do have shaped me to be the woman I am now. And I can't say I've ever been happier with my life than this very moment. It's so nice to finally come into my own.

Proof I DO Have Time To Clean My Kitchen

Thanks to Rachel, I'm doing this MEME. I don't even know how to pronounce that because I believe it's french, but I know it stems from imitation. Either way, it's something a lot of people do and that's usually not my thing. For example, I changed the spelling of my name four times in school because there were 5 other "Tammy"s in my grade. I went from Tami to Tammi to Tamie until I finally decided on Tame'. That little accent on the e was very important. It was actually one of those ~ over the e. So in high school my friends nicknamed me Tame, as in shy or quiet. It was much like naming the husky kid "Tiny".

On with the imitation of being like everyone else!

Four Jobs I've Had:

I have been at the same job for 11 years and I didn't start working until I was 17, so this was difficult.

Service Learning Volunteer:

Obviously, as a volunteer, I wasn't paid for this but it was still a responsibility. It was a school organization I was apart of where we'd volunteer our time and services. We sang carols at a Hills Department Store for Christmas and other random acts of kindness. But one thing that was constant was every week a group of us would go to a retirement home after school and visit the elderly. We were each paired up with a resident by our advisor. I LOVED my advisor and I think she really thought about it before she paired me off with Marie. Marie was this beautiful, articulate, knowledgeable woman who just happened to be blind. This meant that while all the other volunteers were making Christmas ornaments or playing bingo in the activity room, I got to go back and spend a whole hour, one on one, with Marie. I remember how special I felt when I would come in and she recognized my voice right away. She always seemed so happy to see me. She talked about her upbringing, her husband who had passed, her children and grandchildren. We became close right away. One thing I never got the courage to ask her was how (or when) she lost her sight. Honestly, most of the time I forgot she couldn't see me physically, because almost right off the bat I felt like she could see straight to my soul. The only regret I have is that after the program was over, I only returned once to see her. I promised I would stop in again, but I never did. That was over ten years ago.

Professional Ice Cream Scooper:

This job sucked and thankfully it was short lived. This was my first tax paying job and I dreaded going every day. It was at a Dairy Queen located in a truck stop. I was trained on a register for barely an hour and then I was told I was ready. The chick that trained me took an hour break and I was left to my own misery. I had no fucking clue what I was doing. PLU codes and the like were so foreign to me that I started giving away free food. When she finally got back, the look of disgust was the cherry on top, so to speak. Not only were my coworkers all clique-y and bitchy, but 95% of the customers were sweaty, horny, male truck drivers who studied every inch of me while I made their Blizzard. I am in no way saying all truck drivers are sweaty and/or horny...just the ones that came in for a cone around 10 pm asking me when I "got off". One of the most ridiculous things that happened was I was called on a big fuck up and was screamed at by the manager, alerted to by my co-workers. Only later did I realize that I hadn't even worked on the day in question. Thankfully (and yes, it was so much better than working there) I caught the worst case of poison oak a doctor had ever seen and decided to just not go back in after working there only a few months.

Assistant Group Supervisor at the YMCA:

Yes, this sounds wonderful, but all it really consisted of was mopping the floor, disinfecting toys and filling a quota of children to adults while the Group Supervisor barely acknowledged me except when she was out of coffee. Above all the shit I went through here, the way they treated the children was the worst thing and this is why I left. I will not go into details, but I will never work there again.

Mascot at the Local Fruit Farm:

This was one of the funnest jobs I've ever had! I was hired by Mason Farms for the month of October in '96. I was a tour guide during the week for all the schools who brought their children in to see the displays and I was the big pumpkin on the weekends. Towards the middle of this month, I applied for my current job as a nanny. Looking back, it's so funny how it all fell into place. The tour guides could pick any costume they wanted. I was a bunny. It was actually a Playboy bunny outfit that I whored down. When I wasn't doing tours in the morning, they let me work in the bakery icing cookies or wrapping baked goods. The owners were so generous and genuine. I didn't drive and my mother would pick me up after she was done working at 4:30 pm so they just let me stay after and work (including overtime). Everyone that I worked with was so nice. I had such a great time.

Well, those are my jobs. More to come soon. Brit is currently without pants and watching a DVR'd Dora for the fourth time. I'm feeling a bit guilty. Just a bit.

DISCLAIMER: For all intents and purposes, Brit has no pants on because I'm trying to potty train her and those damn Pull Ups do not work no matter what Proctor & Gamble says. And while Dora IS DVR'd, I was being sarcastic when I said it was the fourth time she has watched it today. In all actuality, Britain bores easily (especially when it comes to TV) and between laundry, my disgusting basement, changing the sheets, going over ABC's and the ongoing saga of trying to teach Britain to spell, this has taken me hours to complete.

Brit, I Am Your Father

So the truth comes out. Check out the new morph on on my My Space now now. My favorite part is where she has the moustache for a few seconds.