All I Want Is You

I didn't think it would feel differently after Matt and I "made it legal" but it does. I couldn't be happier with who I married. When we found out we were having Britain, I felt a twinge of resentment. I thought I really screwed up my redo with another white trash aspect of an already white trash filled life. But looking back, why would I want it any other way? Matt and I lived together, bought a house, had a baby, then we married. It wasn't for any other reason but because we couldn't bear to be without each other. And while others choose to marry before pregnancy (Matt's parents), while pregnant (my mom was in her second trimester with me when my parents married), after they have a baby (or babies) or they choose to never marry at all, it just depends on what is right for the two people it matters to most. And planning this wedding, that is what I had to remind myself. Being married to Matt, this is also what I remind myself. "Do what is best for each other." I wouldn't say I've sacrificed. I would only say I've realized what matters most to the both of us. It's a huge decision when you give yourself to someone else. And if it's truly right, it's not a hard one. You don't lose the best parts about you...they're only magnified to even better proportions. The tiny, little insignificant things that used to bother you are pale in comparison to how lucky you feel to finally have someone you love to wake up next to, love cooking dinner for, love writing emails to, love kissing in the kitchen. I'm finally through with feeling like I'm missing out on something.

I finally have what I've been looking for all along.