You've Lost .2 Pounds

This may sound sexist, but I think women always have weight on their minds. You don't see a scale in the MEN'S WalMart bathroom. (I think it may even tell our future for an additional quarter.) And you don't see many guys asking if "this makes me look fat". If anything, guys are concerned they aren't big enough and buy that crazy weight gain powder. It's so strange. It's genetic.


I have a scale in my bathroom. It stores my info and tracks my weight loss (or currently, my weight gain). I probably get on it two or three times a day. I strip and weigh myself. I pee and weigh myself. I casually lean forward or backwards thinking the pounds will just disappear. The worst part about the scale is that it even has ounces. It can drive a woman crazy.


Then there are all those weird things you hear about weight loss that all seem to contradict themselves.
*Don't eat past 8 pm
*Eat a low fat snack right before bed
*Eat a big breakfast everyday
*Don't eat one big meal...eat 6 small meals throughout the day
*Drink 8 glasses of water
*Stay away from too much water. It bloats you.

I think the shittiest part about me and my body is that I weigh a lot more than you would think. I'm solid. And about 5 years ago, before I started eating better, I used to be 30 pounds heavier. But, now when I lose a few pounds, it's never where I'd really like to lose it. It's hard to lose Man Back. So the scale is really just bullshit.

"Take your shoes off, Brit. They always add a few ounces."

I say all this and eat alright but I don't exercise for shit, so as Anonymous would say, all we Erieites do is complain. Although I did buy a jogging stroller at the end of summer last year and I intend to use it...just as soon as it hits 40 degrees. So, late May.