I know most people reading this, probably everyone reading this, has done this at least once in their lives. It seems like the negative comments that are voiced to me from other people outweigh all the beautiful positive comments I get from my friends, family, even strangers because I just can't let some things go. Vice number eight: It's so hard for me to accept criticism. The strangest thing is that I, myself, know I'm not by any means near perfection. But the fact that someone calls my imperfections out is what kills.
I'm trying. I'm really working on not dwelling or obsessing about what someone (who probably just wanted to hurt me) has said to knock me down. It's hard not to hear it like a continuous message in your head. It's painful to really listen to someone's opinion of you.
Some of the most hurtful comments have come from people that are really close to me. I'm assuming they hurt more because I feel like there is more backing associated with the criticism because they know me so well. And I'll more than likely see that person again, sometimes every day, and I'll be reminded each time. I'll be conscious of it and more than likely act differently to possibly change their opinion.
But why? Why would I need to change myself for someone else? These vices I've chosen, while possibly changing someone's opinion of me, are for ME only. I sat down by myself (before I asked for ideas) and easily made a list. I know what I don't like about myself. So I'm not sure why it matters to me what other people don't like.
In the grand scheme, we're all jerks, frauds, insensitive, lonely, disappointments or failures. And the people who choose to berate me aren't any better.
5 comments:
i have the exact opposite problem. i have problems accepting compliments. i can take criticism anytime as long as it's constructive. if someone is going around saying that i'm a loser, but offers no reason why, or any insight into it, then i brush it off and move on.
maybe look at these negative comments you are getting and evaluate them based on their merit and facts behind them. if some random person comes up to you and says you're a dumb ugly whore, you can immediately dismiss it because they 1) know nothing about you, and 2) can't back it up with any proof.
if the comment is from someone who does know you, find out why they think that. by asking some questions, you may find out they are just jealous of you and say those things because they are assholes. and if that's the case, why do you want them in your life anyways? if it's causing you to stress and worry about it, move on elsewhere.
I don't like criticism either. I often agree with it, accept it and try to change it, but I still think the person who said it is an asshole. I give really bad compliments that turn out to be criticisms. Its a curse.
I am with ron on this one. I am terrible with compliments; never know how to react.
If ever need a boost just turn to your friends that is what they are there for. Personally I think the vice thing is great. It is a tough thing to do; even harder if have those close to you try to keep you down with them.
Oh, you left out hypocrites.
Wow, you should see how I take criticism. I take it really horribly, so I know where you're coming from on this one. I'm trying to take it and turn it around into something positive, but that's definitely no easy task. It's like trying to change your whole way of thinking and your entire thought process. It's a constant struggle, but I know you can do it!
I'm really bad at taking criticism even if it is couched as "constructive."
I think "constructive" criticism is a bullshit term and it makes me think the person using it is more of an asshole. It's as if they are saying, "this, especially, is for your own good."
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