In high school, we had a nice, well rounded group of friends. We had The Crazy One, The Track Star One, The One With All The Boyfriends One, The Weird One, The Good Girl Turned Bad One, The Intelligent And Slightly Popular One, The Young But Wise Beyond Her Years One and The Future Business Leader Of America One. None of these were me.
I was The Fat One.
I was the "best friend" role you see in the movies. I was the girl that guys would come up to all the time...to ask if my friend liked them and if I would give my friend their note. Even when my friend, The Track Star, traded off the same boy with me every other week, it was because he still wanted to be close to her in any way he could. I didn't seriously date anyone until I was 16. And even that was rather false. He decided he wanted to date me because The Good Girl Gone Bad One wasn't interested. Even after high school, going out with the same group of girls at the bar, I fell into the best friend role. I always joke that when I used to go out with The Future Business Leader Of America One, the best pick up line that was ever used on me was "What's your friend's name".
I'm just not one to get hit on. I'm the wallpaper in a famous art gallery. I'm the stepping stone to the big promotion. This is not something I'm not used to and I refuse to read comments (and might delete them) like "you're hot" and the like because this is not why I'm posting this. I can't stand women who post for that reason. I am posting because this is the way it is. This is what I've accepted. And I don't know how I'd be if it were any other way. I doubt I'd be half as nice or grateful or genuine. But, hey! At least I'd always walk around with my nose in the air and you wouldn't notice the creases in my neck! There's always a positive.
In all seriousness, I kind of like that I can go to a bar and enjoy myself. I'm not looking for anyone else. I hate saying "no" to anyone, especially someone who may come up and I'd have to shoot down. (Ugh. Who wants to be "that girl"?)
But I'm writing this because I actually WAS hit on a few days ago. I was at the Casino with a few family members. I was just sitting in line, pulling levers and hitting buttons, no makeup, same outfit I wore last week. I was, as always, oblivious to anyone noticing me. A guy walks up to me and hands me a piece of paper. Immediately, I'm thinking it's my coat check coupon that must have fallen out of my pocket. I notice it's folded and a different color. I look around and he's gone. I unfolded the note, my heart beating a bit because this could say ANYTHING, really.
Slot machines fade and I'm flashed back to high school, 1996: A bunch of Freshman passed a note to me all the way from the front of study hall. One of these Freshman, I could have possibly had a crush on before this incident. When the note finally gets to me and has my name on it, I open it with the same heart palpitation. Could this possibly be someone asking me out, confessing their love for me? Did they want to know why someone so amazing didn't have a boyfriend? Well, sort of:
"Are you a lesbean?"
It hurt. The laughter from the front of the room didn't hurt as much as the sound of my hope of ever walking hand in hand with someone down the hallway being smashed against the chalkboard. I was the butt of endless jokes for the remaining months of my senior year.
This note was different though. It was a bit longer in length and it was scratched out in places, as if he was too nervous to write anything more than the minimal. It simply stated he thought I was beautiful (spelled correctly) and asked me if he could buy me a drink if I wasn't involved with anyone. I stood up and turned the crimson color of my shirt. I wanted to let him know that I was, indeed, engaged but that it was probably the nicest thing a stranger's ever done. And if he ever wanted to try a sweet gesture like that on another woman, one who's available, then he shouldn't think twice about it. Well, except for the fact that he was gone before I even really knew what he looked like. I'd change that tactic a bit.
14 comments:
Hi there!
I wanted to tell you that I loved reading your blog! Made my day brighter!
A Canadian near Hamilton, Ontario
Thank you! Are you trying to "up" the nicest thing a stranger's said to me? ;)
Always nice to hear from a Canadian.
That was me in HS and college too. I was always breathless when the boy came up to whisper something in my ear and then crushed when it turned out to be "so did you tell her I like her? what did she say?"
Wow, I was just like that in high school. Guys didn't hit on me. Let's be honest: they never did. My sister was the looker. I hung out with boys a lot when I was a kid, but towards high school, I had more girlfriends. I was called a lesbian on several occasions. Can't say that felt too good as it wasn't true.
No matter how many boyfriends I had, they were all considered "cover-ups". I could never win. Thankfully, that stopped after we graduated. I couldn't wait for that day. So I can sympathize...
Good post to you, by the way. :)
omg ur hawt do u wnt 2 cyber LOLZ!
"Lesbean" is my new favorite word - I can imagine stupid ass Kris or Kurt K. writing something like that to you.
did you ever think that you might just be too hot and cute that guys are intimidated to approach you?
still that guy at the casino had some balls... i wouldn't of done that. of course, if i was to approach a woman, i'd talk to her, and not write a note. but we all know i won't talk to women anyways...
i didn't start dating until my senior year of high school... unless you count the 5 days i "dated" a girl in 5th grade, and the 30 minutes of band class i "dated" a girl in the flute section. even since, i've only had 1 official girlfriend, but i did see another woman for about 2 months... other than that, it's been, on average, less than one date a year.
I just wish I had the confidence I do today combined with the rockin' hot body I had back then...I would be UNSTOPPABLE.
Another great post Tam, makes me want to dig out my prom photos.
And, maybe the guy at the Casino was a mass murderer and since you didn't respond to his note quickly enough, he chose another victim?
HAHAHA! Jr (Ron) As if I'd have a crush on those two assholes. Eww.
Im pretty sure thats not it, ron.
Anne, are we related to Rachel?
Nice perspective Mrstito. Too funny! Knowing how often I don't get hit on, that was probably it.
I would venture a guess and say there was someone, perhaps a grade ahead of you, that saw you for you.
-Mick-
Considering that everytime I go out with you guys and girls are all the time flirting with you, I find this post a little hard to agree with. But as a fellow loser in highschool (although I totally had boyfriends. Suck it Dechant!)I will say it is weird when people hit on me now, especially because as adorable as I am, I'm also a bit porky. Of course msot of them are homeless and/or crazy and/or 15, but I'll take it!
I think we're all secretly quintuplets or something.
I had my first kiss at 18 and a few months. I flirted with one person before then but then he got kicked out of school.
Kristen,
That crazy girl who was drunk and high on something who lifted my dress up when I wasn't wearing any panties at Doughboys does not count as flirting in my book.
Was she wearing a headband on her forehead? 'Cause she hit on me too once but Kristen scared her off.
Post a Comment