Friday, March 30, 2007
Beauty School Drop Out
From My So Called Life
Rayanne : I'm not okay, and you know it. Now everybody knows it. And you all thought I would screw up, didn't you? Well, congratulations! You were right!"
This took awhile to bring up because I'm ashamed.
I've been in a pretty shitty mood lately, as in for the past month. (Oh, if Matt could blog.) I'll even go as far as to say I've been depressed. You see, I think it stems from my most recent failure. Looking back, I don't think I ever really failed at anything. Then again, I don't think I've ever really tried something challenging either. About a month ago, I tried something I thought would be a piece of cake and I'd sail right through it. It wasn't and I didn't. It didn't piss me off so much that I failed at it. It pissed/pisses me off because I know so many people who do/have done it. I am in utter awe of anyone that can handle a part time job, a full time parenthood and a part time school schedule.
I could not, and I think I'm scared away forever.
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6 comments:
didn't i tell you that it was ok and not to worry about it? seriously, you were very ambitious with your school schedule, while being a full time mom and having a part time job.
don't think of it as a failure, but just a learning experience... throttle back a little bit and take it slow and easy.. isn't that how you girls like it, slow and easy? ;)
don't be ashamed. school isn't a piece of cake, especially with the other things going on in your life.
Just hang in there, Tam. Even if you think you're scared away forever, you aren't. I know you have the motivation and will to try it again someday. There's nothing wrong with "failing" at that anyway. I really don't consider it failing. I couldn't see myself trying to handle half of what you do. And work a part-time job on top of that? Pfff.
It'll be alright. Just hold your head up, and don't be ashamed. I still admire you no matter what you think or do.
Oh, and doing school on top of that...
Forgot to throw that in my last comment. Just try school again when it's not so hectic for you. Things will get better. I promise.
If you don't consider raising a child a challenge, I think you're fooling yourself. I'm proud of you for even trying. And I couldn't handle it either and I'm still pretty flipping awesome so you're in good company.
Thank you so much, everyone. It feels better. I feel better.
Tam, you could never be anything less than fabulous. And don't consider it a failure, call it a test drive.
Besides, you're going to need some extra time when I have a kid and need you to raise it for me.
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