Friday, December 30, 2005

Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgot

My Grandfather passed away yesterday.




It wasn't the first time I had lost someone close to me. It wasn't even much of a shock to any of us, only because he had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease over 12 years ago and had been declining for some time now. He had been in the care home he passed on in for almost 11 years. What was most difficult is a toss up between the raw emotion of seeing someone you care about taking their last breath and the way my Grandmother reacted when she finally let go just before it happened. Every day, for those 10 1/2 years, she went down to the home to wash him, feed him, hold his hand, turn him, kiss him, and fall in love all over again with him. Its hard to remember another life for her.

But there IS some memory of my Grandfather before the disease took over...before my Grandmother had to dead bolt the doors so we wouldn't find my Grandfather miles away walking down the streets of Erie again, before she had to switch the faucets in the kitchen to turn backwards because he kept turning them off and on, before he forgot my name, before he forgot HIS name. I remember when I was 8 or 9, my Grandparents used to take my little brother, JR, and I to the dock to feed the ducks every Sunday after church. Yes, I DID once go to church and actually enjoyed it. But thinking back, maybe I had liked hanging out with my Grandparents in any aspect. I'm pretty sure they have always loved me, used to take care of me any chance they could get and for that I am grateful because out of all the cousins, I think JR and I knew my Grandfather the best. He was always joking around the way those grandfathers on the Hallmark commercials do. He would pretend to "steal my nose" and sometimes I believed his thumb really WAS my nose in his fist. He also would always tell me to sing "Far Far Away" and when I asked him what song that was he would just laugh. He would pretend he was asleep and when I would get really close to him napping in the chair, he would jump and scare the hell out of me, almost every time. I remember his gold sedan. I remember his five o'clock shadow. I remember he snickered more than he laughed. I remember he was happy once.

He loved children and having three sons of his own, he was really excited when I came along. I was the first girl on my Dad's side of the family (complicated because my older sisters were from my mother's previous marriage). He would always tell me I was his favorite granddaughter. "But Papa, I'm your ONLY granddaughter."


Next February, my Grandparents would have been married 60 years. When they met, it wasn't soon after that they decided to wed. My Grandmother went above her parents and lied about her young age when they applied for the license. They had three sons, nine grandchildren, four great-grandchildren, and I can see a bit of my Grandparents in almost every one of us.

The most amazing thing might be that the home my Grandmother took care of my Grandfather in, men came and went and not one man had a wife that cared for him, watched over him, day in and day out, the way my Grandmother cared for my "Papa". But there was only so much she could do. He was finally ready to rest. He didn't give in or give up. He gave way for a new chapter in my Grandmother's life. He gave her a few more years of health and happiness to enjoy on her own. He gave a present she's too modest or selfless to put on any list. He let her go.

Friday, December 16, 2005

Reprimanding
















Said to Britain in annoyance when she refused to lie down for a nap and yacked on my shirt: "See. If you were asleep, you wouldn't be puking so much!"


Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Why Do They Call Them Cartoons?

So, I was trying to remember all those cool cartoons that used to be on when I was little. The ones that were actually drawn by hand with a pencil and paper at one time. Here are a few )in no particular order) I remember and I was hoping you all could help me add to the list. Britain needs to know what good cartoons are all about.

Jem
The Jetsons
Bugs Bunny and all those other characters
He Man
She Ra
Inspector Gadget
Life With Louie
Ghostbusters
The Flinstones
Jabber Jaw
Garfield and Friends
Captain Planet
Muppet and Muppet Babies
Josie and the Pussy Cats
Gummi Bears
Doug
Ewoks
Transformers
Bobby's World
Conan The Barbarian
G.I. Joe
Dark Wing Duck
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (back in the early 90's of course)
Alvin and The Chipmunks
The Berenstain Bears
The Animaniacs

Monday, December 12, 2005

Its A Jolly Holiday With Mary

Today was a great day to be a nanny. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic. I actually DID have a great day today at work. Most days, I find are so much more rewarding for me than YOU, at the plastics plant...Or YOU, over there in retail for the holiday season...Or that guy over there selling bus tickets. How boring. Some may think its easy, my job. But you get into a lot of shit, literally speaking as well. But I think I was born to be with newborns (and toddlers, and so on.) And I think fate stepped in when my boss came into my life.

Afterall, she let me borrow all this lovely jewelry and mink wrap:(But the red eye was all mine...and the dress: $17.99!):

Although my jobs (nor my boss') weren't always so great. It all started back in '96...There I was, fresh out of high school and looking for a job with meaning, a job where I would be making a difference...At least a job where I didn't have to make ice cream cones for old, horny truck drivers at the Pilot Truck Stop where the favorite pick up line was "When do you 'get off'?". Yes, I was tired of Dairy Queen, food service, even tired of GASP ice cream. Luckily, I had an excuse to quit...I had caught poison oak.

So there I was, looking through the paper, thinking I'd be great at jobs that made people happy: nurse, chiropractor, hairdresser. I was so excited to find a job as a massage therapist.

"Mom, I know. I'll do massage. This ad says 'No experience required. Pay is great. Start today'!"

"Where is it?"

"Some place called the Satin Health Spa?"

"NO!"

My first attempt at the job of my dreams: daycare. Now, I am not speaking of all daycares or even all YMCA daycares, but this particular YMCA daycare that I worked in, I could only stand for 2 months. It was less like a place to leave your child for any given amount of time and more like a place to punish your rapist's spawn. I will not go into much detail but the straw that broke the sadist's back was after a week of a little boy being punished in the form of being between a wall and two wrestler's mats all day, EVERY day, I was out of there. The parents weren't that much better than the group supervisors and it was all bad.

Its was the end of summer by this time and I decided maybe something seasonal would help the cash flow until I could find something permanent. I won over the owners of a local fruit market that catered to the Halloween crowd. I was officially a tour guide to all the students that came in for their field trips. I led them through the corn maze and Disney character set ups made out of pumpkins and straw. At the end, we all had cookies and apple cider. I amazed the kids with my bee charming ways, since, by the last tour, my hands were covered in cider and bees. I was never stung once. They just crawled all over me. (For those of you that don't know this about me, I try and let all the insects and bugs in my house out on paper rather than swatting them with it.)

It was a few weeks before Halloween and I knew my job would end soon, so back to the search in the paper. It was like playing Sims. I found an ad for a nanny, written short and simply: "We got a kid-you have two arms, HELP!" or something like that. I was feeling gutsy and called after work one evening. I remember it was a little late because I apologized for the inconvienent hour. She laughed and told me compared to some calls, this was no where near an inconvienent hour. SCORE! I interviewed a few days later. Mary answered the door. She was a tall, curly haired brunette, wearing a ponytail on her head and a sweatshirt and leggings on her body. Right away, she was warm and friendly, even a bit excited which put me to ease right away because my mother's personality was so similar. She explained she and her new husband were both local attorneys and they just had their daughter, Payton, a little more than 6 weeks prior. The conversation sailed smoothly. Its so funny to think back to this time because, although I had just met her, Mary was as genuine back then as she was throwing clothes and jewelry at me for my fancy ball last weekend. I remember telling her one of the most important things I thought a child needed was a book. She asked about my schooling and what I did for extra curriculars (I was in performing arts). I also remember sharing I wouldn't mind being observed or being on video if it eased their minds, and I realized how difficult it must be to decide who would care for their tiny baby. After a little while, I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to meet the little chick! She was upstairs with Mary's mother, being rocked and adored. I remember just how small Payton was, all bundled in her blanket, rocking in her dimly lit room. Although it's been over 9 years, it still seems like yesterday. I remember how much I just wanted to scoop her up, but didn't dare ruin the beautiful moment between she and her grandmother. I walked out feeling lucky to have met Mary, but really didn't think I would get a second interview with just a high school degree barely under my belt. I was sure she had interviewed so many more qualified, experienced and educated men and women. (A few months down the road, Mary shared with me that the ad was their absolute last attempt to find someone they could trust. They tried agencies, word of mouth, even throwing around the idea that Payton would probably end up being cared for by her mother since they hadn't had much luck.) She let me know with a phone call a few days later that they were debating between myself and another woman and that I'd know as soon as they decided. Then she couldn't contain her excitement by telling me she'd pretty much made up her mind.

Through the years, Mary and I have sustained a longer relationship together than we have with our ex-husband's. We call each other "wife" and there aren't too many people I'm closer to than "Mare". She's not only an amazing female role model for Britain, but truly one of the most influential females in my life. There are not even enough words to ever thank her for all she's ever done, but hopefully I remind her enough just how much she means to me. Its almost laughable to call her my boss. Even "friend" doesn't suffice.

Identity Theft!

I googled my name and I realized that while I supposedly was sleeping, I was leading an alternate life as an owner of a home based company and a damn drug addict!


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Tammy Ames works daily online building WAHM Work at Home Connections and helping other work at home families market on the internet. ...



STATE v. MILLER
They testified that Miller, his girlfriend Tammy Ames, and his sister Tanya Miller were known heroin addicts.

A nanny since 1996, I'm tired of washing nipples that aren't mine.