Christie,
I'm sorry I can't make it to your baby shower. We have an annual event with Matt's family that we never miss. I'll probably be hugging my toilet bowl as you hug your new crib. Don't be jealous.
I thought I would give you some DO's and DON'T's from one mother to another. I'm sure you haven't had ANY advice given to you as of yet, so I thought I'd help you out.
DO rest as much as possible the last month. You don't sleep in the hospital. Get the hell out of there as soon as you can so you can get some real rest.
DON'T wait to pack your hospital bag. Even though it was my first child, I went into labor with three full weeks to go. Also, make sure you have your pediatrician or you'll be stuck with the dr. on staff.
DO ask for drugs if you want them in labor. What the hell are you trying ot prove? Just lie and say you didn't if you feel guilty.
DON'T throw away your gift bags. As soon as you have your baby, six other people you know will get pregnant. I hope one of them isn't you.
DO steal as much shit from the hospital as you can. And that includes items for yourself (as in those throw away panties and the monsoon pads).
DON'T take any shit from the bitchy nurse(s).
DO realize not many people will give you the attention you were used to when you're out without the baby. You might even miss all those smiles and complete strangers touching your belly. When with baby, you may even feel invisible.
DON'T leave home without knowing the stats of the baby. Everyone wants to know the age, weight and why you picked the name you did. Make sure Tom knows too. Or, you can just look like an unfit mother. Your choice.
DO cry if you want. If you see a Hallmark commercial that chokes you up or a dead bug whose life was cut short, get it out. Get it all out.
DON'T take anything anyone says about your figure to heart. Matt screwed up and said "Eww" about my stomach the week after. I realize now that it WAS kind of gross, but it feels normal now. And stay away from the damn scale for awhile!
DO take your time pooping for the first time after. It's one scary incident, but it all comes out fine in the end.
DON'T worry about waiting the six weeks to have sex. You'll know when you're ready. Of course some people are STILL not having sex 30 years after delivering.
DO realize that everything is not your fault. I will never forget how guilty I felt when Britain wasn't nursing and she lost a whole pound her first week, ending up in the hospital with jaundice.
DON'T waste your money on baby detergent. The only difference between All "Baby" and All "Free And Clear" is the price (and the powder scent.)
DO all your laundry together. It's so much easier to keep up and far less stressful. (Get one of those sock bags too, for little ones.)
DON'T believe everything the grandmothers tell you. They grew up in a different era.
DO keep emergency diapers in both your cars, as well as wipes, an extra outfit and socks. You'll see. Oh, you'll see.
DON'T worry about sterilizing everything. Buy a nipple basket and throw everything in the dishwasher. Also, if you're not nursing, you don't have to buy bottled water. Just boil water the night before and keep a jug on the counter at room temperature.
DO keep a changing area downstairs (if you have more than one floor) as well as up...even if it's a blanket, some wipes and some diapers.
DON'T worry if you run out of baby cereal. Cream of Wheat works just as well.
DO keep an extra outfit at the granmothers' houses...if they haven't bought her a separate wardrobe already.
DON'T leave home without the diaper bag. Even if you're going to the store for milk. That's when she'll shit. Leave it in the car if you don't want to lug it in.
DO keep a little blanket or changing pad in your diaper bag. I can't even tell you how many odd places I've changed her, including a scary ass bathroom with a wet cement floor at a playground.
DON'T be afraid of trying your OWN method of doing things. Just keep telling yourself "I'm the mother".
These are just some of the ones off the top of my head. I didn't have stitches and couldn't breastfeed so good luck with that. But, if you ever need any other advice, I'd love to help in any way I can. Call anytime. I would never claim to be the perfect mother. That's why, I think, I am a good one.
You'll resent her. You'll be disappointed in one way or another. But you'll feel like you could gut the nurse like a fish the first time they give her the heel test. You will never love anything more than your own child.
BEST OF LUCK!
Love, Tam
11 comments:
Bravo, Bravo! I would like to second the motion about keeping diapers and wipes everywhere. You don't want to be the white trash woman he takes one diaper out of a package at Walmart because you were unprepared. Also, about the nurses who's the boss and leaving the hospital at the first moment possible.
And to add one - don't be mad at Tom for acting more tired than you are the first couple of weeks (or years in my case). Yes, he is getting twice as much sleep as your are, but he's a man, he can't handle it, that's why woman have the babies.
Oh, and by 2 1/2 you forget all the bad stuff and think that maybe you might want to do it again. Then you sober up and hope you remembered the birth control.
great list tam.. i totally agree (with the parts that are woman-specific at least).
Great List! I love the one about some people still aren't having sex 30 years after. That's awesome. All I know is that the wife better not pull any of that monkey business on me.
OMG. This makes me want to have a baby!!
I love the list! It was done so lovingly. I'll have to remember this some day.
Oh, and if any of you need babysitters, I have excellent references.
The profile picture doesn't exactly help you anne. Hehehe Yes, that's what I picture you laughing like in that picture HEHEHEHEHEHE
Hahaha! EEEEEE-xcell-eeeeeennt.
Mwah-hah-hah! Give me all your babies!
Thank you, Thank you, a hundred times Thank you!!! I am sitting here crying at work. I am going to print this and keep it. I'm so glad to have a friend who gives me real advice, and I think I can really talk to about things. It means more than you will ever know. I love you!
excellent list.
Great list... and funny too. I laughed out loud. People walking by my cubile looked at me funny...
Check, check and check.
Another to add: if you end up having a C-section, you haven't missed any of the birthing experience. It is absolutely as wonderful plus the pooping thing is much easier!
And one elaboration: People giving attention to the newborn when you're out is a good thing. You don't have to worry about how you look one bit. Everyone's looking at the baby and you can let your belly flub, greasy hair and dark undereye circles just hang out for all to see.
Good points, everyone! Christie is set! She ain't afraid of birthin' no babies!
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