Wednesday, May 24, 2006

We Was Poor But We Had Love

Growing up, my family wasn't by any means wealthy. We rented (the horror) our house in an upperclass town. There were friends of mine that were only allowed to be my friend during school hours and I wasn't asked over to many people's houses. If I asked someone over, there was always some excuse why they couldn't make it. We could have used a maid and a landscaper. Our car color was "Bondo" and always at least 10 years old. My first bike was from a garage sale. My clothes were hand-me-downs from people who had the clothes as hand-me-downs.

But I didn't really get it. In fact, I didn't really understand that I was different until I was told, "My mom doesn't want me coming over because you don't live in a new house." I was once even accused of stealing my friend's toy because I was playing with it all day at recess and it came up missing later that day. (I'm not even sure what happened to it, but I hadn't taken it...I only steal gum.) I'm not going to say I wasn't taken care of, but there WERE times when I wore the same thing two days in a row, or went to school with bed head. If it wan't for my reduced lunch ticket, I probably wouldn't have eaten lunch every day. But there were SIX children. My parents both worked their asses off. My older brothers and sisters thought of me as one of their chores. And my little brother and I were on our own at an earlier age than normal. Half of my life in that town, I felt less than most of my peers. What amazes me still is that most of the teasing and dirty looks I received were fudamentally from parents and people who were old enough to know better, like my teachers. Am I that naive to still be so surprised at all the hatred and judgmental assholes in the world? An example of how it was in my town: One of my good friends was with her mother at the grocery store and asked why an African American couple had a "dirty baby".

I've always said I wouldn't have wanted my parents' financial status to be any different. I learned so many things and values BECAUSE we were of lower income. My own parents (now close to a 6 figure income) never measured a person's worth by how much they had in their bank account. They are the same people they were before (maybe fighting a little less...Just a little). And I certainly wasn't brought up to think any differently of someone just because they've never driven a Benz. Britain, I hope will turn out with the same mentality as well.

8 comments:

Kristen said...

That's why you eat out of the trash can when you visit...

Ron said...

Who told you that bullshit about not coming over because you didn't have a new house? That had to be in Fairview, no doubt.

Tam said...

Well, it certainly wasn't WATTSBURG, PA!

Jenson said...

Good reflection.

Some people are ridiculous. You've got a good head on your shoulders, I bet your girl will too!

Kristen said...

That kind of shit would not have gone down in Historic Waterford either. That town has good people. And good amish restaurants.

Julie said...

Don't believe what all the other people are telling you about them being "rich". Most of them are living beyond their means and are so far in debt their children's children will be paying off their debts. It is almost always an act that they feel they need to put on for others.

I have known a few truly rich people in my life and you would never know it by how they act and what they have.

You are the way you act because of the values your parents instill in you. So I woudln't worry about Brit. She will be just fine.

Michelle said...

I, for one, would like to say that I never thought of you as a chore. As my own personal Cabbage Patch, maybe, but never a chore...sorry if you felt that way. By the way, I've told you this for years, but I'll say it again, you were the most perfect baby and such a good kid (minus the gum incident) and now you have a little clone that's as perfect as you were. Why do you think I'm so in love with her? She reminds me of you when you were young. Absolutely incredible! Love you!

Rachel said...

Unfortunately, a lot of kids aren't raised to be so humble or respectful as you guys were; especially these days.

You sort of wonder what it must be like to be so judgemental...how can they stand that?

~Rachel~

A nanny since 1996, I'm tired of washing nipples that aren't mine.