#10 Finally, you get to live out some of those Florence Nightingale fantasies.
#9 You already used the "flat tire" excuse with your boss last week.
#8 Because "bed rest" entails all cable, all the time while food, pillows, footsies and fresh linens are brought to you with just a ring of a bell.
#7 FREE DRUGS (with some street value)!
#6 You wanted to become the favorite child again.
#5 Two Words: Light Duty
#4 Because its easier than faking whiplash.
#3 You can't afford a REAL vacation.
#2 Presents, Sponge Baths, Sympathy, and possibly Cash
And the #1 Reason To Fake A Heart Attack:
You always wanted to see if shaving all that hair off really DOES make it look bigger.
All kidding aside, you know we all love you Ray and are very concerned for your well being. Get well soon, please. Seriously, please! Kristen keeps calling ME because you're not there to talk to. She went on and on for a half hour about chew toys.
Love,
Tam Matt and Brit...
Actually Brit just thinks you're that Mexican that just shows up once in awhile but if she could comprehend the seriousness, she'd be rooting for you too.
And thankfully, Jesus is on your side.
3 comments:
I was talking about organic free range dried chicken chews. That's totally interesting!
I felt like I started off strong and fell down at the end there. I could have done a better joke but I'm currently on my last thread. I'll try again after my nap.
I'd just like to say, I thought this was highly comical, witty and supposed to be taken light-heartedly, but apparently some people don't share the same sense of humor. I appreciate YOUR comments Kristen. I still stand by this post as one of my best.
Post a Comment