One is that something always smells funny to me. My tombstone will read "What is that smell?". It took me two hours, but I figured out that the cat pissed behind the chair in my living room on this bag that someone let me borrow. I will not disclose the name of the person because said person knows nothing about the incident since I doused said bag with Tide and angel breath before returning said bag to said person. If there is something burning, rotting, steeping, cooking, baking, hiding, dying, or you just smoked a cigarette last week, I will know it. The most horrible time was when I was pregnant and my already heightened sense of smell turned into my super power. Excerpt from my pregnancy journal:"I thought I had a great nose before!!! This heightened sense of smell thing is really out of hand. I feel like a super hero. Even with the cold, my super powers still thrive. My sense of smell is constantly turning my stomach over Jr's new AXE cologne fragrance and day old chicken scraps. Those Plug-Ins that seemed like such a great idea when we first moved in now trigger my already churning stomach. I put some toast in the toaster for Matt this morning and thought I was going to heave. 'Do you smell that?' He looks at me like I'm out of my mind. I cant even imagine what its like at a bar or a restaurant. I'm quite happy at home making tiny meals throughout the day."
My sisters: Theresa and Michelle. These are the same people who also used to tease me about my "bubble butt", pre-JLo.The other endearing quality my family members tease me about is my frugal shopping skills. I will load up my cart and while waiting in line to check out, put half of the items back...well, not so much BACK as randomly sticking a bottle of Pantene on the Altoids rack. Does anyone else do this? I guess I just start estimating how much everything's going to be and realize I won't have that in my account until Friday. Rather than go through the embarrassment, I just casually drop stuff off on my way to the register. I seriously TRY to get through a shopping trip without doing it, but haven't succeeded yet.
I'll tell you one thing, I'd put back food or toothpaste before a Plug-In. I wouldn't want to have to deal with some smelly ass house.
5 comments:
That's just Simon marking his territory. He's probably already made sweet feline love to that bag.
I do that, you've been with me when I have. Only its less about not having the money, and more about not wanting to spend the money. You'll often times see me at Marshalls removing every item I originally put in there including the $.50 6 ft. antique mirror because it costs to much and leaving Ray's $27 bottle of olive oil. WHy do I do that? Do you put Matt first when you shop?
I put Matt first in most things. He better fucking appreciate it too! Just this morning, I got up and pretended to lose a game of Rock, Scissors, Paper (loser fed Brit at 5am) because I knew he needed his sleep.
What exactly would Ray be using the Olive Oil for?
Fuck! What's with the pics, man? Lori makes fun of me alot because while we are going through the store I have to smell things. It can be items of clothing, books, things wrapped in plastic, doesn't matter. Sad thing is, I didn't realize I was doing this so much until she started saying things to me, like, "Uhhh, what are you doing? You just smelled a pair of shoes. Why are you smelling the jeans?" I know nothing.
Whenever this happens to me, it only happens for three seconds... I pick something up, I look at the wife, my wife is shakes her head, I put it back (sw). Not that bad, but I like to kid her a bit. She actually loves to put me first (When we actually have the money).
I never had the problem of smelling everything I could get my hands on though. It sounds like it could have been on an episode of Seinfeld too (Ah, I miss new episodes of Seinfeld. Elaine could have played the part of smelling everything).
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