Jane (the little chick I nanny) told me yesterday that another little first grader called her "a queer" just because I had put three band aids on her leg in a row. (It was a big scratch.) How in the Hell does that little jackass know what queer means? I realize, yes, queer is something out of the ordinary which would in fact make Jane unique, and therefore be a compliment. But this little bastard definitely did not mean it as such.
Then there's Matt. When playing video games, he proceeds to call any enemy "pussy" or "little bitch". All this is being said while our daughter, a budding young FEMALE, is swinging nearby taking all of this in. I'M a pussy! I'M a bitch! So why is it such an insult to be called a woman? Women fucking rock!Not only derogatory words bother me, but I also can't stand the words "fart", "crotch" or "snatch". I prefer "hoo hoo" and "fluff" respectfully.
Let's use these words in a sentence:
"My hoo hoo is itchy."
"My snatch is itchy."
"My crotch is itchy."
Suddenly using "hoo hoo" makes it less disease ridden.
"Grandpa's an old fluff."
"Grandpa's an old fart."
Now who's lap would you rather sit on? Fluff for thought.
13 comments:
I think it would depend on if the hoo-hoo is itchy before or after sitting on Grampa's lap. ;)
Yeah, I hear all the others fairly often in life and more often as adjectives. "A pussy" or "a queer" sounds worse. It also tells me that someone has a limited vocabulary.
E- So sad yet so true.
Tru-dat! I am sooooo offended when people call me a "dyke". I am a lesbian. I have even become accustomed to gay, although that's usually reserved for the homosexual male, but don't call me a dyke! Also, I'll never forget when Hunter was 6 and came home for dinner and asked me what a ni---r was and my jaw just dropped. I asked him why he was asking and where he heard it and he replied that his little playmate had called him that! Bastard! I thought I was gonna tear that kid a new ass. Enough of that, I got the backhair up.
As the worst offender I know, I can say that saying someone or somehting is gay is always wrong. Always. Same with retarded. Unfortunately it's easier said than done to stop.
Listening to Matt playing video games was perhaps the scariest, yet most amusing time of the day for me. The best though was when he pounded the floor upstairs and said "FUCK!!!!!!".
Now, if he was playing Battletoads I'd totally understand. That game is unbeatable even with a Game Genie.
Still not understandable.
I'm sorry, but to say that your "hoo hoo is itchy" sounds just as dirty and disease-ridden as any of the other words.
Actually, its really easy to give up calling people "retard" -- just get yourself into a very embarassing situation just once. And you'll never forget. For me, I was playing Putt-Putt in Erie, and I called someone I was playing with a "retard" -- only to discover in horror that within ear-shot was a family with a special needs boy. I felt so small. And I don't see how they couldn't have heard me. Now, that happened when I was a teen, and I can't say that I have never called anyone a retard since then, but its pretty rare. And then I usually feel badly for saying it.
What about " My Poo-na-nee is itchy " or " Grandpa 'Toot'ed ".
I think that some labels would be inappropriate under all circumstances. Like the word faggot, this should not be used in any sentence, no matter what the situation. But if you and your friends are all together and you call them a Dick-Licker for… I don’t know… for spilling beer on you or what not, this is fine.
My favorite thing to say when I am playing video games (Most of the time in ESPN 2K5 football) when I get mad is "You-F*ckin-Piece-of-SHIT!" or "You-Cheat'n-Mother-F*cker’s". This is only when they intercept the ball like five times in a row or score like five times in a row towards the end of the game just because they are behind. Those cheat’n bastard’s….
Other then that, don't label...
Matt tries to pull that shit on me too, Mo. How its the COMPUTER that is cheating and not a lack of skill on his part. "C'mon that's bullshit! I had that!"
You're probably right, no skill on my part. But if I am killing the whole time during a game and all of the sudden interception, interception, score, score... it's a little bit damn ridiculous! Don't you think?
I didn't say you didn't have ANY skillz. I tend to kick all the guy's asses because I just keep screwing around with the buttons and it works for me.
Guy-"How did you do that move?"
Pussy-"I'm THAT good.", while I'm holding the controller upside down and drinking a diet coke.
Oh, I see. Well if I was playing you, and you were winning... I wouldn't blame the Computer...or you. In fact, I would be happy that you (or any girl) was playing a video game in the first place (My wife hates video games. All except for frogger or pacman).
I don't know why we (guys) think it takes our manly skill to beat a video game when all you have to do is press as many buttons as you can, in no particular order, while drinking a diet Pepsi (Sorry, I mean Coke) to kick some ass.
We are so naive when it comes to video games.
As well as other things. I will teach you well, my boy. As far as the video games go: I grew up being the only chick. It was sink or swim, Baby. And Barbie Dolls looked much better without hair.
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