Goosebumps

I stepped outside and realized just how cold a witch's tit is.

That's No Octopus

Damn you, TBS, for playing Simon Birch on a lonely, snowy Sunday afternoon.

Here's what else I did today. That's no octopus, that's a baby.
I also made blueberry muffins and counted calories.

Can You Feel It?

(Said in a slow, deep voice): It's coming. And I've been so hungry, it feels like I haven't eaten in months. I've been gorging on anything I can get my hands on, but nothing compares to the real thing. This could possibly be the best tv show to date.

(normal, upbeat voice): But then again, I've only seen what my DVR tells me to watch, which may or may not include Full House.

To My Heart I Must Be True

I think the worst thing about watching You're The One That I
Want (the new Grease casting reality show) is that my audition never made the cut. Lucky for you, I have it HERE. Although I wasn't chosen, I've decided to still continue watching.

18 Months

My little girl is 18 months already. She refuses to eat without proper utensils and knows a bit of sign language. (No middle finger yet). Britain is possibly the smartest baby alive because she knows where her ears are as well as her belly button. She knows the difference between Kix and Cheerios and didn't talk to us for a week after we boycotted Trix. Brit also knows how to work a room. She continues to gain votes when we are in public. I am thinking of making up pins.

Happy 18 months, Mookie!

Aunt Edna Died Because She Hated Oranges

What's the deal with pork and sourkraut? Why is it good luck to eat it on the first day of the year? It STINKS!

Payton, the oldest I nanny, told me today that eating oranges is also good luck. I told her I think adults just come up with this stuff so we'll all eat our food.

"You know how Aunt Edna's house burnt down last year? Well, she didn't drink her orange juice."

Britain, Matt and I all went to his side for a New Year's Eve celebration. I can't believe she stayed awake until the ball dropped. But she did. Of course, at 12:02 she was out like a light.

A special thanks to the Cleveland Crew for calling to remind me just how sober I was at 12:28 am. Really, thank you. It was sweet and I felt a little loved.

Happy New Year!