Canadian's American Idol

I'm just as much a fan of American Idol as the next Reality TV watcher, but do they really need this much air time for the preliminary auditions? Its sucking up all my TIVO. Granted there are some great losers: (All pictures taken from TVGasm)


WTF?








This kid had a great idea for his own cleaning business. He actually attempted to say "entrepreneur" on air at least 5 times before he got it right. "Come home. Your food and house will smell like paradise! That's our slogan. And, uh, it takes me a minute to kind of get that out because it's kind of a tongue twister, and that's the way I wanted it to be." Flawless! No, seriously, that was his name. This dude had matching pants as well. And two other outfits, same style but in different colors. He reminds me so much of my best friend's boyfriend, its scary.



Queen of the double take. "People confuse me for a girl a lot of the time, which I think is so funny." Pure genius was when they played "The Crying Game" at the end of poor Zach's audition.


This chick on the left was pissed when the judges hadn't moved her on to the next round...So pissed that she was still ranting when "Miss Yellow Slip" on the right came out all ecstatic. "I actually heard her sing, and I don't think she was that good." Then she challenges Yellow to a sing off! Pissed chick goes first and we realize why they (probably ALL) said no. Then Yellow gives her an up and down and turns right to the camera smiling: "The proof is in the paper!" It was the biggest snap I've ever seen. BUT THE BEST PART was Pissed Off's face after Miss Yellow walked off.

You might be thinking you're looking at a Dove Soap "which one's the mother, which one's the daughter" commercial, but no! Meet Crystal (my next daughter's name) and her Coach bag. I can't even describe how idiotic this girl (on the right) was. Simon asked her THREE times about her tan before she stopped rambling on and on about how the entertainment business is, like, her life and stuff. Finally she answered "Oh yeah. I go tanning." Ummm I'm thinking its a little more than tanning. Someone found a bunch of Nutrogena self tanner on clearance and filled up the damn bath tub with it. *Shiver* I just found my next costume for Kristen and Ray's next Opposites Party.

Meet Rhonetta. I can't say I don't have a pair of similar foot wear, but I can say I haven't flashed my hoo hoo to America while doing a spin kick in a mini skirt (while I was sober, at least). Rhonetta has done this and so much more. If you missed this audition, I don't know if I feel sorry for you or envy you. I am a changed woman because of it. This beast just went on and on about how big of a mistake the judges made, especially Paula. "Paula AAABdule ain't got shit on me!" I agree. I'm thinking America's Choice!


There were only a few that stuck out in my mind that I thought deserved it and were there for the right reasons:

Garet is one of my favorites. He's only spoken to a hand full of people in his lifetime, coming from a town in Wisconsin with a population of FOUR. You expect him to be all geeky and anti-social like those home schooled kids you see at the public library on their once a month field trip. But he was cool, for a kid in a cowboy hat...Who sings to his turkey...who had ONLY sung to his turkey before auditioning. I don't care, I still like him.


My favorite pick so far is the 16 year old named Paris (its a shame I don't have a picture because she's so damn cute) with great lineage (her Grandmother is Ann Nesby from Sounds Of Blackness) that appeared Wednesday night. Although you can tell she's been schooled (what with the smile-as-you-sing type face) you don't give a shit because she's that good. My prediction: Top 3!