Its a little scary how many times I've been to Wal Mart in the last month. And its always for something stupid that I either forgot or convinced myself I needed. I went in today to pick up baby bottle liners (forgot them last night) and convinced myself I needed fruit because we NEVER have fruit in the house, unless you count Twizzlers. So I picked up honeydew, cantaloupe, bananas, and mangos. Matt LOVES mangos (perhaps more than his fiance') and they were a mere .33 cents a piece, while normally they run around 1.30 A MANGO! So I bought 5 (which is about the price of one, to help you out with the math). When I get up to the register, I noticed the cashier (while draped in the latest fashion of a stained pooh shirt and plastic hoop earrings) rang them up as .50 cents each. Everyone always yells at me when I don't tell someone that they are screwing me over or just aren't giving me what I want. (I specifically say NO GRAVY, please. The dish comes back with not only gravy, but gravy on the side and I spend most of my dinner scraping off the layer of lard instead of just reminding the damn waitress that "I didn't want to clog my arteries this evening".) So I debate, and debate, and she's getting down to almost the last item on the conveyer belt. I'm already mapping out my way to customer service to fix the problem with them and not make her feel shittier than she might already (I mean, her partner couldn't have sprung for even those wire hoops that come in 5 pair for a dollar at Claire's?) but alas, I speak up before she's subtotaled.
Tam: (sheepishly) "Um, I believe those mangos were .33 cents, not .50."
Plastic Hoops: "Wha?" (Stares at the receipt, as if the answer lies within.)
Tam: (defenseless tone) "I think they even said it over the loudspeaker."
Plastic Hoops (huffing) "Hold on......" (Calls the imaginary manager who seems to never be working when I'm there. We both wait a few minutes for no one to show up. Finally Ms. Hoops just changes the price herself.)
Tam: (apologetic) "I really appreciate it. I know its just a dollar, but-"
Plastic Hoops: (interrupting me in a "I need another cigarette" tone) "Have a nice day." (meaning have an unbelievably shitty day where you fall down a few flights of stairs and your kid catches Rubella.) Then she THROWS my perfect fruit in the cart, crushing my bottle liners.
And I'll probably be back tomorrow.
5 comments:
Brian- please refer to your comments as comments as when you say it was a bad post you're referring to what Tam wrote. Get with the blog lingo man.
Tam - White trash is as white trash does. That actually is an amazing price for mangoes. Usually we just get a case from Ray's mom and make ourselves sick on them.
How in the hell do you cut those damn things? I only put two in the fruit salad I made because I was so afraid of cutting off my finger. What exactly is at the core of that fruit anyway? So the correct spelling is Mangoes? FUCK
Brian, we have no Zagaras here. I must settle.
Tam, I might be wrng on the spelling. As far as cutting the, you run your knife down the side- not in the middle as that's where the pit is, but right along the edge of it. Pretty much where it feels like the knife is going through soft flesh vesus tough pit. If you leave a bit of flesh on the pit, you can always carve it off.
You should've busted that bitch in the eye. What the hell, I mean, gas has gone up $0.10/gal, she can't be shortchanging you on mangos.
But yeah, WalMart is like an abusive spouse. You may hate them, but you keep coming back to them time and time again.
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