I realize, most of this poem you all might not get. But it may be funny for some.
Twas the week before ChristmasAnd all through the fam
Underlying issues were present
Including, of course, Tam's
The stockings were hungTo avert from the quibbling
But what's a sibling party
Without EVERY sibling?
MaMa (and her stained shirt)And Pa were quite distant
But it surprised not a one
'Cause it happens each Christmas
The children were either cryingOr guessing Aunt's names
'Cause, it's rare we see each other
Though the same blood's through our veins
After setting the timerI flew like a dash
To pose for the camera
Before the damn flash
The heat from the peopleFilling the room at Jr's place
Gave a luster of dampness
To Tam's sweaty face
When what to my wandering eyes should permitBut a miniature Brit in a cheesy santa outfit
With a son and a fatherwho used to fight constant
talking hunting and fishing
though there's still some resentment
Now Theresa, Now MichaelNow Stephen, Now Tam
Let's all pool together
For a mortgage payment plan
A wink of his eyeAnd a twist of his head
Still I couldn't forget
All the mean things we've said
And I heard Jr exclaimas I drove out of sight
"Merry Christmas, Bitch!"
And it felt just alright.
7 comments:
Bittersweet.
I HATE that pic of me!
I'm glad I wasn't there.
I don't want the gift that a certain sis-in-law left for me.
I miss my Britain Candy. She should wear a Mrs. Claus suit every day!
Matt was disgusted. He said he's going to make sure Britain knows he had nothing to do with it.
I know why you didn't want to come Michelle. You can try to hide it, try to fight it, but eventually you'll just have to admit that my friggin' cheesy taco dip was DA BOMB.
It's going to be interesting to see what kind of reaction Mom and Dad get with their gift....
And is Don giving The Shocker in the group pic? HA!
I love the santa outfit. And you're making me feel better about my dads side family party I'm dragging Ray to this year.
From an outsider point of view, that was hilarious! And truly, it pretty much follows my mom's family to a tee. I should steal the poem and send it to all my uncles.
Brit looks a lot like Cindy Lou Who. Just sayin'.
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