Still Watching

Let downs are a usual occurrence for me. I am famous for building something up until it's so huge that not even the most perfect outcome could compare. I'm also famous for only seeing the beautiful, exciting aspects and dismissing the horrible, ugly, gangrene, furry, what-the-hell-is-growing-on-that part. And when it inevitably turns out to be less than perfect, or just damn disappointing, then I'm let down again and a little bit of my positive outlook is gone for good. It seems like in the last few months, I've lost quite a bit though. Sure there are things to still look forward (my cousin's wedding, Pittsburgh Pirates game with Matt and Collective Soul, Cedar Point, Monday mornings) but they all pale in comparison to the doubt, the confusion, the second guessing, the turmoil, the bitterness of a once delicious fruit. It's amazing how some parts of your life can be going so well, and other parts make you want to take up knot tying.

I realize most of you are quite confused. I realize there is a secret life I lead outside of this that most of you aren't privy to. I haven't been able to talk about everything on my blog, it being so public and all. Well, what it boils down to is that this is MY web log, right? I shouldn't have to explain everything. I'm open and honest as the next blogger but I'm not going to spill my guts out on here just to let in even more negativity. And really, who reads a blogger that gives every last boring detail of their life? Just like in relationships and good Lifetime movies, there has to be a bit of mystery or you'll change the channel.

You're here, so you're obviously still watching.