Class Of 2007

Well, it was another trip to Cleveland for me this weekend...and another ladies night.

I was super excited to see my invites from Kristen, and her dogs. I left around 6am Saturday morning but had taken a sleeping pill the night before. My hangover from it was horrible and the half fat capp wasn't helping. So, I think that was the reason I didn't cry when I saw my wedding invitations. They are awesome! I am so ready to start stuffing some envelopes. THANKS KRISTEN!

And let me also thank Kristen and Ray for always putting me up every time I come in with no questions asked. There's always fresh towels, bedding, a scrubbed bathtub and a puffy air mattress waiting for me when I'm ready to sleep or shower. On top of that, they always buy dinner, snacks, lunch, breakfast and sugarless gum whenever I even THINK I might need some oral fixation. I, being the classy dame I am, tried to pay them back a little and picked up the tab on a 22 dollar bill for breakfast. Yes, my friends. That was for all three of us. I know.
Breakfast was also where this guy busing tables had come over to me with this sucker. Granted, I was not wearing this outfit.
MAN: "Here ya go. We give this to all the kids. 16? How close was I?"
TAM: "Um, I'm 29 sir. But I'll keep the sucker." Oral fixation.


I felt a bit honored that everyone wanted to go out just because I was in town. Alright, I think the fact that there would be booze and/or boys at the bar had something to do with it, but let me have this moment. We decided the gay bars were out. All techno all the time isn't really my thing. It was alright when I was younger, but I tend to dance and not stop dancing unless there is a shitty song or some kind of break. With techno, I dance myself exhausted in 2 hours. And we told everyone, except Kat, to meet us at Kristen's where we'd carpool. Kathleen and Anne couldn't be bothered.



Meet the cast:

Kristen was done with my not-even-crying-over-your-invites business.


Ray wishing we'd just fucking leave already so he could start his night of Internet porn and lazing about with no pants. Ray made me stiff vodka drinks all evening until we left and luckily I remembered my pants.


Hilary showed up first. She was ready and brought her lunch from earlier in the day. It's always nice when Hilary shows up because you get the gossip on people you have never met, nor probably never will, and yet still feel like you're completely included. She always has some entertaining story that really doesn't change your beautiful opinion of Hilary. "She has this shitty old beat up car with half eaten hamburgers in the back, but damn that girl can sing."

When Alli showed up, I thought she was the guy bringing my blackened chicken sandwich and french fries. But she wasn't. Still, I was glad to see her. She wasn't ready but had FLOWN from Columbus just to make it there on time. This is the only picture I could get of her because I tried to take a picture of her in a towel. I guess Kristen walking in on her naked made her a bit standoffish too. In all honesty, I think you could say anything to Alli and she'd either brush it off because she's that awesome or flip you off and buy you a drink all at the same time. Still, those french fries would have been good though.

The last time I had seen Christie, she was oh so pregnant. (She was the pregnant I always wanted to be with the awesome cans and belly. Instead of thinking I was pregnant, people thought it was Miller Time a lot of the time for me.) She was talking about the new baby and even brought pictures. (Um, Brit. You better step up your game cause this kid was posing at birth.) I don't know how telling it was that she forgot the pictures there when we all left, but who's judging? Just don't forget to take your daughter out of the cart at Wal Mart and you'll be fine. It was nice to be around a new mom. They have this internal glow like their kid has given them a world they never even knew existed. It's like being in early love, but better. Instead of unearthing the issues your mate has, you get to instill issues in your kid that dozens of therapy sessions later, they're still extremely apparent. Ahh, parenthood. Christie wasn't too sure on the leopard print top, but c'mon! Who's looking at the leopard print with tits like that?

Gina showed up ready and excited to go. Here she is after she saw my invites. I know, they are that good. You might have beaten me to the alter, Ventre but I obviously got you back. By the way, I saw Gina and Michael's invites and they were pretty damn hot too. Kristen, I'm assuming, created the design. The only regret of the night is that I think Gina and I exchanged three words. When I hugged her goodbye at the end of the evening, she probably thought I was drunk because I said I loved her. There was even that humorous pause like "that was said too soon in the relationship". I say this to people I adore. There aren't too many people I aspire to be. She has so many qualities I wish I either had or was working harder to perfect. Micheal hopefully realizes how lucky he is.

Finally, the food came and I sacrificed my chicken sandwich and fries to be served up as appetizers. Ray told me since he bought it, he got to decide what to do with it. My 1/16 of a piece was really good. Hilary is eating her leftover lunch because she felt so bad for me. I filled up on sweet potato fries that Kristen threw into the mix. Damn, those were good...for organic.

Although I don't have a picture of Kat, she was probably the key ingredient to our successful night. She started out all by herself, scoping out the bar we ended up at and had that best time at. She had some of the best lines of the night. And she trusted me to drive her car and all of us to Ihop where I ate pancakes which saved me from starvation.

The strangest thing was everyone was still celebrating my birthday. People I didn't know came up and told me happy birthday, including a really old version of Christina Aguilera, the genie years. She then proceeded to give me spankings. Although I enjoy a good swat, I was both frightened and perplexed by the encounter. I felt like I should have tipped her.

We had one of the best ladies nights out. I can't really describe without pictures so hopefully that is where Kristen will come in, since we took her camera. I did things I always do like danced on the top platform and threw ice at guys I wanted to leave. But I also did things I'm just starting to do, like watched my drink intake and left before security kicked me out. Some of our ladies made out with guys, poles, a beer bottle and a necklace. We danced in a basement most of the evening. We saw a band for three minutes, except for Alli and because of Alli. Some of us got free drinks. Some of us were out 42 dollars for just one round, double the cost of a breakfast for three. (I didn't buy, Fool. It WAS my birthday, after all.) Most of us wore comfortable shoes and I don't think any of us threw up. But one thing's for sure (enter slow, dramatic, sitcom music here), we all are closer because of it.