Gay Night Out

We started off at The Zone. It was only a dollar cover. For some reason, I thought they weren't going to let us in and somehow knew we weren't really lesbians because the bouncer gave us what felt like the third degree. I was waiting for a knife.



considering the small cover, it wasn't too upsetting when we decided 5 minutes later that we'd try Trance, the better gay bar in Erie. Before we left and finished our one and only drink, I thought the walls were a great place for pictures.


And poor Christie had never had her Senior portraits taken, so I decided it was a great opportunity to make up for it here.

Kristen had enough. The only problem was we had to face the bouncer again since there was no other way out.

He asked why we were leaving so soon. We told him it was his fault. He thought we might change our minds if he threatened Christie's life.

We didn't.



We moved on to Trance.







We tried to emulate the joy in our bones.

Shot #1

Shot #2

The damn shot dude was like a vulture, I tell you.

Then we were ready to get our freak on!

Here we have an adorable lesbian couple who you could tell were very in love with each other. Although they pulled that whole Ray and Kristen, matching outfits thing.

Then the beautiful Jeniffer comes over and wants a slice of Christie pie.

Kristen and Christie's girl on girl action.

Christie's girl on girl action with me.

Just as Dave thinks the thumbs up pose is cool, Kristen still thinks cigarettes look sexy

I still think straws are sexy.

But not as sexy as this!

Christie got all the play. I was asked to dance by the only straight guy there. And Kristen looked beautiful in every fucking picture. We all had a great time.

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Crush On Crumbs

I know you'll make fun of me. And you won't be the first. But I've had a crush on Fred Savage for over 15 years. I've seen every movie he's been in (even that cheesy made-for-tv movie where he beat up Candace Cameron), own a few he's starred in and even have three or four VHS tapes of The Wonder Years from when they first aired. I even have the SNL, starring him, where he and Dana Carvey were duo church ladies (classic!).

When I was younger, my wall was covered with Fred. He was all over my books and locker. Yes, I even had one over my bed. Most of my friends were crazy about Chad Allen or Kirk Cameron, but they never really appealed to me more than Fred Savage. Maybe because I was known to like the less-liked? Maybe it was another way to stand out? But I have to admit, it still catches my eye when I see a blurb about him on a "Where Are They Now" show or I Love The 90's.

So you can imagine how thrilled I was when I heard he was going to be starring in a new sitcom! Crumbs starts Thursday night on ABC. Its obviously an older, more closed character than "Kevin Arnold" of The Wonder Years. And as "Mitch Crumb", he'll also be playing a GAY man with a screwed up mother, played by Jane Curtin!

I'm trying not to get my hopes way up, since almost every show I've watched this season has been cancelled, but I really can't wait to watch (TIVO, rewind, pause, dream about) Crumbs. I think its great he's back and I've always liked his comic timing. He's been acting in major roles since 1986 and after Wonder Years ended, he took a break and attended college before he tried TV again with the show Working in 1997. It wasn't great, even in my opinion. But this show looks promising. This could be a hit. This could make that little Jewish boy shine again.

And I don't care what Dave says, I'm not a child molester.

Not Surprising, I Ended Up Trashed

Alright, not all of my holiday was depressing. Its time to photo blog for the last time from 2005!

Here we are at Christmas Eve. Its always spent with Matt's family. Wait...hmm What? Where's that curly blonde chick that Matt had an illegitimate baby with? Oh she's not allowed in the pictures until her last name is Chase. But, uh... I ain't bitter. Is the Chase family not the most attractive little postcard you've ever seen?


Here is Matt's middle brother, Brad. The most adorable thing about him and Matt's little brother, Craig (below) is that they can't get enough of their new niece. Its a fight over her, really.




These college football playing tough guys are all about making this little chick happy. And she has them both wrapped around her tiny little British finger.






This night was really nice, and I WAS there although there is no documentation. I was happy to be given a pie cutter for Christmas by his Grandma! That was not sarcasm. I was embarrassed not to have one when she was over a few months before, so I was ecstatic.




Here are "Brittle" and Matt on Christmas. How adorable are they both in the morning? She let us sleep in and didn't even care that her presents had been picked out while she was in the shopping cart weeks before. I had just given Matt socks and pjs, what every man wants. He, in turn gave me XM radio, obviously a fair trade. Truth be told, my "big" present to him had not arrived. Update on that later this week when it will finally be here.

Christmas afternoon: moving on to Mimi and Papa G's house. Britain made out! Here she is with the new "IT" toy (note to Dave and Sharon): Peek A Blocks by Fisher Price. Look at the entertainment even before its out of the box!




Brad competing for Brit's attention. Brit playing hard to get. When will he ever learn?







Dinner was amazing! Everyone else had steak while I dined on stuffing and pork loin (the other white meat) made just for me. I told Matt's mom that she was so much nicer to me than my own mother because if my moms serving up the red flesh, she just tells me "Good, go ahead and starve".

Off to my Aunt Sue's house Christmas night. Here are Marc, my oldest cousin, and his new wife, Michelle up from North Carolina. Don't let her fool you. She can outbench him by 50 pounds. This is no joke.




My other cousin Steve, younger brother to Marc and also the cousin I'm closest to. He is sitting here with his new lady friend, Amy. More below with this couple from New Years Eve.





My father and his creation. I felt a little bad for him...not so much that he was wearing it, but because you KNEW he made it for Britain and her reaction was basically a baby's version of the middle finger. She barely paid any attention and couldn't stop staring at the track lighting.


Fast forward to the day after Christmas. By this time, Matt and I were ready to down some pills or slit our wrists if it did not end soon.


These two pictures are me looking less than amused.









Flashback to Junior year when my fifteen year old angst caused the phrase of the day for Christmas morning to be "did you keep the receipt?". I truly DID enjoy the gifts my parents bestowed upon Britain. I think I might have been listening to the same damn story my mother had told me a thousand times.


This picture, to me, looks like I just opened up a Britain doll.









No! OF COURSE I didn't pack my plaid skirt so Brit and I could match...I forgot it.









My sister Theresa, who has a remote car start and no need whatsoever for an electric windshield scraper. Thanks for knowing your daughter so well, Mom and Dad. Oh and thanks to Theresa for the on-the-spot regift to Matt!



My mom can act excited about absolutely anything. Its just like when I used to come home with a homeade ornament for the tree.







"Did you keep the receipt?"

No seriously, thanks for all the great gifts and continuous love, Mom and Dad.







Here's me (and Matt) feeling all guilty for going out of town to Pittsburgh to celebrate New Year's on the eve of my Grandfather's funeral showing.






Steve (and Amy) not so guilty.














Toast before the drunkeness ensued. Here's my cousin Steve and his pilgrim-like hat.











We stayed overnight in a hotel downtown, searched for an emergency place to eat (Clauddaugh's, which I highly recommend!) and saw The Clarks. We had a really great time, especially Steve and I who downed champange, beer and triple shots like they were water. If there were drunken pictures of me, believe me I would have posted them. But alas, I'm a photographer, even blasted, so I only have these beautiful drunk ass pictures.























Matt had had enough, literally.










I saved the best picture for last. The Irish beef stew that Steve was so adamant about eating the next day ended up on the hotel room floor, sliding out of the takeout box (by accident) in one slimy perfect gob. If I didn't take the time to snap the picture, he would have eaten his scooped-back-into-the-takeout-box dinner without even knowing a thing the next day. Now sober, I realize there is no such thing as a five second rule when it comes to ANY hotel room floor.

Happy New Year everyone.

Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgot

My Grandfather passed away yesterday.

It wasn't the first time I had lost someone close to me. It wasn't even much of a shock to any of us, only because he had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease over 12 years ago and had been declining for some time now. He had been in the care home he passed on in for almost 11 years. What was most difficult is a toss up between the raw emotion of seeing someone you care about taking their last breath and the way my Grandmother reacted when she finally let go just before it happened. Every day, for those 10 1/2 years, she went down to the home to wash him, feed him, hold his hand, turn him, kiss him, and fall in love all over again with him. Its hard to remember another life for her.

But there IS some memory of my Grandfather before the disease took over...before my Grandmother had to dead bolt the doors so we wouldn't find my Grandfather miles away walking down the streets of Erie again, before she had to switch the faucets in the kitchen to turn backwards because he kept turning them off and on, before he forgot my name, before he forgot HIS name. I remember when I was 8 or 9, my Grandparents used to take my little brother, JR, and I to the dock to feed the ducks every Sunday after church. Yes, I DID once go to church and actually enjoyed it. But thinking back, maybe I had liked hanging out with my Grandparents in any aspect. I'm pretty sure they have always loved me, used to take care of me any chance they could get and for that I am grateful because out of all the cousins, I think JR and I knew my Grandfather the best. He was always joking around the way those grandfathers on the Hallmark commercials do. He would pretend to "steal my nose" and sometimes I believed his thumb really WAS my nose in his fist. He also would always tell me to sing "Far Far Away" and when I asked him what song that was he would just laugh. He would pretend he was asleep and when I would get really close to him napping in the chair, he would jump and scare the hell out of me, almost every time. I remember his gold sedan. I remember his five o'clock shadow. I remember he snickered more than he laughed. I remember he was happy once.

He loved children and having three sons of his own, he was really excited when I came along. I was the first girl on my Dad's side of the family (complicated because my older sisters were from my mother's previous marriage). He would always tell me I was his favorite granddaughter. "But Papa, I'm your ONLY granddaughter."

Next February, my Grandparents would have been married 60 years. When they met, it wasn't soon after that they decided to wed. My Grandmother went above her parents and lied about her young age when they applied for the license. They had three sons, nine grandchildren, four great-grandchildren, and I can see a bit of my Grandparents in almost every one of us.

The most amazing thing might be that the home my Grandmother took care of my Grandfather in, men came and went and not one man had a wife that cared for him, watched over him, day in and day out, the way my Grandmother cared for my "Papa". But there was only so much she could do. He was finally ready to rest. He didn't give in or give up. He gave way for a new chapter in my Grandmother's life. He gave her a few more years of health and happiness to enjoy on her own. He gave a present she's too modest or selfless to put on any list. He let her go.

Reprimanding

Said to Britain in annoyance when she refused to lie down for a nap and yacked on my shirt: "See. If you were asleep, you wouldn't be puking so much!"

Why Do They Call Them Cartoons?

So, I was trying to remember all those cool cartoons that used to be on when I was little. The ones that were actually drawn by hand with a pencil and paper at one time. Here are a few )in no particular order) I remember and I was hoping you all could help me add to the list. Britain needs to know what good cartoons are all about.

Jem
The Jetsons
Bugs Bunny and all those other characters
He Man
She Ra
Inspector Gadget
Life With Louie
Ghostbusters
The Flinstones
Jabber Jaw
Garfield and Friends
Captain Planet
Muppet and Muppet Babies
Josie and the Pussy Cats
Gummi Bears
Doug
Ewoks
Transformers
Bobby's World
Conan The Barbarian
G.I. Joe
Dark Wing Duck
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (back in the early 90's of course)
Alvin and The Chipmunks
The Berenstain Bears
The Animaniacs

Its A Jolly Holiday With Mary

Today was a great day to be a nanny. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic. I actually DID have a great day today at work. Most days, I find are so much more rewarding for me than YOU, at the plastics plant...Or YOU, over there in retail for the holiday season...Or that guy over there selling bus tickets. How boring. Some may think its easy, my job. But you get into a lot of shit, literally speaking as well. But I think I was born to be with newborns (and toddlers, and so on.) And I think fate stepped in when my boss came into my life.

Afterall, she let me borrow all this lovely jewelry and mink wrap:(But the red eye was all mine...and the dress: $17.99!):

Although my jobs (nor my boss') weren't always so great. It all started back in '96...There I was, fresh out of high school and looking for a job with meaning, a job where I would be making a difference...At least a job where I didn't have to make ice cream cones for old, horny truck drivers at the Pilot Truck Stop where the favorite pick up line was "When do you 'get off'?". Yes, I was tired of Dairy Queen, food service, even tired of GASP ice cream. Luckily, I had an excuse to quit...I had caught poison oak.

So there I was, looking through the paper, thinking I'd be great at jobs that made people happy: nurse, chiropractor, hairdresser. I was so excited to find a job as a massage therapist.

"Mom, I know. I'll do massage. This ad says 'No experience required. Pay is great. Start today'!"

"Where is it?"

"Some place called the Satin Health Spa?"

"NO!"

My first attempt at the job of my dreams: daycare. Now, I am not speaking of all daycares or even all YMCA daycares, but this particular YMCA daycare that I worked in, I could only stand for 2 months. It was less like a place to leave your child for any given amount of time and more like a place to punish your rapist's spawn. I will not go into much detail but the straw that broke the sadist's back was after a week of a little boy being punished in the form of being between a wall and two wrestler's mats all day, EVERY day, I was out of there. The parents weren't that much better than the group supervisors and it was all bad.

Its was the end of summer by this time and I decided maybe something seasonal would help the cash flow until I could find something permanent. I won over the owners of a local fruit market that catered to the Halloween crowd. I was officially a tour guide to all the students that came in for their field trips. I led them through the corn maze and Disney character set ups made out of pumpkins and straw. At the end, we all had cookies and apple cider. I amazed the kids with my bee charming ways, since, by the last tour, my hands were covered in cider and bees. I was never stung once. They just crawled all over me. (For those of you that don't know this about me, I try and let all the insects and bugs in my house out on paper rather than swatting them with it.)

It was a few weeks before Halloween and I knew my job would end soon, so back to the search in the paper. It was like playing Sims. I found an ad for a nanny, written short and simply: "We got a kid-you have two arms, HELP!" or something like that. I was feeling gutsy and called after work one evening. I remember it was a little late because I apologized for the inconvienent hour. She laughed and told me compared to some calls, this was no where near an inconvienent hour. SCORE! I interviewed a few days later. Mary answered the door. She was a tall, curly haired brunette, wearing a ponytail on her head and a sweatshirt and leggings on her body. Right away, she was warm and friendly, even a bit excited which put me to ease right away because my mother's personality was so similar. She explained she and her new husband were both local attorneys and they just had their daughter, Payton, a little more than 6 weeks prior. The conversation sailed smoothly. Its so funny to think back to this time because, although I had just met her, Mary was as genuine back then as she was throwing clothes and jewelry at me for my fancy ball last weekend. I remember telling her one of the most important things I thought a child needed was a book. She asked about my schooling and what I did for extra curriculars (I was in performing arts). I also remember sharing I wouldn't mind being observed or being on video if it eased their minds, and I realized how difficult it must be to decide who would care for their tiny baby. After a little while, I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to meet the little chick! She was upstairs with Mary's mother, being rocked and adored. I remember just how small Payton was, all bundled in her blanket, rocking in her dimly lit room. Although it's been over 9 years, it still seems like yesterday. I remember how much I just wanted to scoop her up, but didn't dare ruin the beautiful moment between she and her grandmother. I walked out feeling lucky to have met Mary, but really didn't think I would get a second interview with just a high school degree barely under my belt. I was sure she had interviewed so many more qualified, experienced and educated men and women. (A few months down the road, Mary shared with me that the ad was their absolute last attempt to find someone they could trust. They tried agencies, word of mouth, even throwing around the idea that Payton would probably end up being cared for by her mother since they hadn't had much luck.) She let me know with a phone call a few days later that they were debating between myself and another woman and that I'd know as soon as they decided. Then she couldn't contain her excitement by telling me she'd pretty much made up her mind.

Through the years, Mary and I have sustained a longer relationship together than we have with our ex-husband's. We call each other "wife" and there aren't too many people I'm closer to than "Mare". She's not only an amazing female role model for Britain, but truly one of the most influential females in my life. There are not even enough words to ever thank her for all she's ever done, but hopefully I remind her enough just how much she means to me. Its almost laughable to call her my boss. Even "friend" doesn't suffice.

Identity Theft!

I googled my name and I realized that while I supposedly was sleeping, I was leading an alternate life as an owner of a home based company and a damn drug addict!


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STATE v. MILLER
They testified that Miller, his girlfriend Tammy Ames, and his sister Tanya Miller were known heroin addicts.